I have LOST 20 Pounds Thanks To Going Off Of Steroids!!!!

Yesterday I had the 2nd best doctor visit this year!! I went for my yearly female issues check up and when they weighted me, I weighted 282 lbs (this is subtracting the weight of my clothes and shoes) and it means i have lost 20 lbs in the past 5 months!!! And I'm not done losing yet, I'm already close to going down another pant size!!!

Still, I have NEVER weighted this much in my life, and it has all been because of the steroids that the doctors have put me on over the past 3 years. And now that it is proven that the steroids do NOTHING for me and also cause me to be suicidal and have severe mental problems, my doctor told me he will NEVER put me on them again!!!! YAY!!! Happy Dance!!!

Then over the past 4 weeks my husband Jeremy and I have made some big progress in healing our marriage and working towards reconciling.  Jeremy came and had Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, then the past 2 weekends I have gone over to his house and spent the weekend with him and we've had some great date nights together.  We are hoping to officially be back together on Christmas day if things continue to go the way they are.  Tomorrow Jeremy and I are going to see my counselor together for a session and we will be talking about my progress over the past 3 months in the PTSD therapy.  I love my husband with all my heart, and I will do whatever I can to save my marriage and keep my vows that I made before God.  Jeremy tells me every day he loves me, which nearly 4 months ago he could not say nor wanted to say. But now as we have continued to talk and work on our marriage and also me going to counseling and learning to deal with the abuse I endured in the past and also learning how to deal with the disease and health problems i will be facing for the rest of my life everyone can see I am doing much better mentally.  I have to focus on the things I have control over in my life and let go of the things I have no control over.  Focus on the positives and let go of the negatives.

Also, I've been crocheting lots more over the past few weeks because I am making Christmas presents for my Grandma and Step Mom.  My Grandma asked me to make her a throw blanket. I had never made a blanket in my life and so I came up with my own design/pattern and Grandma said she wanted the colors in Patriotic Red, white, and blue.  Below is the finished product and my Grandma loves it. I call it "Grandma's Patriotic Throw Blanket"

I will post pics of my Step mother's gift when she gets it on Christmas so I can take a pic of her wearing the items.

Then, with the extra yarn i have left over from the blanket and the hat, scarf, hand warmers, and head band I made for my step mom I've made different size skull cap hats and ear warmer head bands to sell.  I'm also looking to start making things to sell at crafts bizarre and such over the next year that will maybe help me pay for my ever growing medical bills that unfortunately will never end. 

Right now even though today has been a bad day, I'm so happy knowing all these good things are happening in the face of my suffering with this disease and all these positives make the negatives not so hard to face. 

CT Scan Results Are In

Yesterday I got the call about the results from the CT Scan I had done last Tuesday on my Guts.

The Bad News: I have wide spread permanent scar tissue damage through out my intestines and there is nothing the doctor can do about it.

The Good News: Right now there is no signs of active Crohn's disease that they can see.

The Other Bad News: They still don't know why I continue to have these "spells" where I get in extreme pain and collapse on the floor, or break out in a cold sweat and collapse on floor.  And 1-2 times a week I am completely bed ridden with extreme 8 out of 10 level of pain. 

What they aren't doing: The doctor has cancelled the smart pill camera procedure is not treating the crohn's at all until the crohn's goes out of remission.

What They Are Doing: The Doctor is going to try and put me on a new medication to try and ease my stomach issues A.K.A Irritable Bowel Syndrome to try and get the nausea, vomiting, stomach spasms, and the 4-8 bowel movements a day under control.

But this however is it, there is nothing else to be done for me at this point until the disease goes out of "remission" and my intestines get more and more damaged then there will be a med change to consider, so the doctor says. 

This is the healthiest I'm going to be and I may not be this healthy for long depending on when the disease decides to go active again and start to try and destroy me. 

Lots of tears being shed today.  But we have to realize that when the doctor says incurable there is going to come a point when there is really nothing else than can do other than send me home and have me come in for a check up every 6 months to a year. 

So, I am going to just keep doing what I have been. Taking things one day at a time and enjoying the good days I have and surviving the bad until the next good day comes along.

Pray for me friends because they are literally all I have left to lean on, and that God will heal me.

Ct scans, homemade noodles and Crohn's

Today my grandparent's cat lily is keeping me company as I fight through another bad day with the Crohn's. She is my buddy and nurse aid, or so she thinks. We are in bed watching old Christmas cartoons.

Last Tuesday I went to OSU east hospital and had a ct scan of my guts, so the doctor can see if I'm OK to have the smart pill camera procedure done in the next month or so.  Was the first time I did a ct scan and didn't start to throw up the barium drink. Thanks to my 5 stomach meds and the fact they didn't try to force me to try to drink 2 bottles of that yucky stuff after I told them I can only get down one bottle, and that this is how it has been for over 3 years. So thankful for understanding doctors and nurses.

Then Saturday evening my husband and I went out to dinner together at one of fav Chinese restaurants. Then we went to our fav music/movie store. It was a good time we had some laughs n good conversation. Jeremy is still trying to figure out whether he wants to get back together or not. But he is trying and I'm trying to keep talking daily to each other and do things together until he decided what he wants.

Then yesterday we got our first real winter snow storm and so I decided since we all were stuck inside, my grandma and I made homemade egg noodles. We made enough noodles to fill up 6 gallon freezer bags!! We made 6 batches of noodles, used 36 eggs and one and three fourths bags of flour!!! It was a lot of work but it was so much fun and now we have enough noodles to get us through all the holiday dinners!! This was my first time ever making noodles and what better day to do them on than the first snow of winter. It will be a special memory to cherish the rest of my life.

Also, 2 weeks ago I took all the hats and scarves I had made for this years smitten mitten expedition to the 2 homeless shelters I had chosen this year to donate to. And already I have gotten 2 big yarn donations and have begun making hats, scarves, and hand warmers for the 2015 smitten mitten expedition. Its amazing the out pouring of support I have received over the past 4 years from people donating yarn and money so I can help keep the homeless and needy in our area warm every winter. God has truly blessed this little ministry project. Even though I'm sick and disabled, I can still make a difference for the Lord and I still have a purpose and work to do for the Lord.

My Grandpa Has A New Heart...I am Calling Him Our Personal tin Man

Thursday afternoon, my Grandpa had surgery to put a pacemaker in his heart. His heart has not been working properly and his heart rate would hardly go higher than 41 beats a minute. He and my grandma stayed together at the hospital over night and then came home yesterday afternoon.

Already we can see a big improvement to my Grandpa's health thanks to the pacemaker.  he has been up most of the day, sitting in his favorite chair, watching his fav tv shows n taking care of maggie and sissy (my grandparent's 2 yorkie Chihuahua mix doggies) already after only 2 days post surgery. 

He still has a long recovery, but we all are so happy to see immediate improvements and hope he continues to improve as the days and weeks pass.

I am continuing to stay with Grandma and Poppy and it doesn't look like i'm leaving anytime soon.  If things keep going the way they are with my marriage and also my grandparents health i will be staying with them well into spring. 

Continuing to take things one day at a time and leaning on the Lord to lead me.

Taking Things One Day At A Time

A while back I posted a blog about my husband and i separating and possibly getting a divorce.....

Well, this week I will be completely moved out of our home except 4 pieces of furniture that will be moved in the next 2-3 weeks.

But my husband and i are continuing to talk daily through phone calls and text chats and so we are keeping the lines of communication open and if he decides to want to work things out then it will be easily done

Yesterday when I went over to our home to finish going through what little bit i had left of small things, we talked for 4 hours and even went down the street and had dinner together for the first time since all this started nearly 2 months ago.

I am continuing to go to counseling and getting treatment for my PTSD, and I am even making progress already.  In just 2 session with my counselor I have already been able to heal and move on from one of the traumas in my past.  Normally after a past counseling sessions i would leave feeling more traumatized and scared than ever.  But not with my new counselor she had me go through this certain trauma and by the time I was done with the session she had me so calm and relaxed that for the first time in my life I was happy and felt good mentally and even drove home!!!!!  And the night terrors i had been having that were related to this trauma have stopped!!!

My husband noticed a big change in me emotionally and mentally, and is very happy to see me making progress. 

But so far he still doesn't know what he wants to do on either working things out or going through with the divorce.  That is why i am taking things one day at a time with him and preparing plans to move forward with depending on which way he decides to go with our marriage. 

To my friends who are reading this, please continue to pray for me and my husband and that God's Will be done in all things in our lives. 

latest gi doctor visit to battle crohn's

last tuesday i went back to my gi doctor for my 4 month follow up.  He noticed i have lost weight, 10 pounds to be exact which in my case is a very good thing, but he is very concerned about my continued extreme intestinal pain episodes that knock me off my feet and make me feel like i'm going to pass out/collapse.

So the gi doctor is wanting to schedule another smart pill camera procedure to see how bad the disease has gotten since i went off of all crohn's medication 4 months ago (because the meds were not working) and see what medication to possibly try next.  But until medicare approves the test it's back to playing the waiting game again until i can go have this test done.

However, while waiting for the smart pill camera procedure I am having weekly therapy counseling sessions with my new PTSD certified counselor and in just 2 sessions I'm already making head way in healing from the over 20 years of abuse that i have never productively dealt with and healed from.

Well, that is about all the updates i have for now.  It's going to be a beautiful fall weekend and i'm hoping to be able to enjoy everyday of it.

My Mom and I Seeing Gone With The Wind In IMAX Theater To Celebrate It's 75th Anniversary

My mom and I in Grove City Ohio to see Gone With The Wind In Theaters for it's 75th Anniversary. The Screen Was 20 feet Tall, I will NEVER be happy just watching this movie on a TV ever again.

The Theater where Gone With The Wind Was playing

Mom and I being goofy and taking selfies during the movie intermission

my mom, Becky

Mom and I went to Cracker Barrel Restaurant After the movie, I had never been to one before and it was yummy

Mom taking a picture of me at Cracker Barrel Restaurant

Meeting My Friend and Fellow Crohn's Fighter Heidi

My long time friend and fellow Crohn's fighter Heidi who lives in Florida flew to Ohio on Sunday and my mom and I picked her up at the airport and we had lunch together and hung out before Mom and I headed to see Gone With The Wind.

Heidi and I in the bathroom together at Tim Horton's, If you have Crohn's or know someone who has Crohn's you will understand this picture. Because this is where we live most of our lives (in a bathroom) so of course we had to do a selfie together in our favorite place as I call it.

Heidi and I having lunch together with my mom at Tim Horton's, being from Florida she had never eaten at one 

 

 

Heidi and I have been friends for 3 years now, ever since I was diagnosed with Crohn's.  Heidi has been fighting Crohn's since she was 12 yrs old, she is now 29.  

We only had an hour and a half to spend together before my mom and I had to drop her off at her hotel and be on our way over to Grove City Ohio (Not too far from Gahanna Ohio), to see Gone With The Wind in IMAX theater.  But I pray Heidi and I have another chance to meet again and spend more time together in the near future. She is an amazing Christian woman and such an inspiration with her "never give up" spirit.

What made this meeting even more emotional and special, was just 5 weeks before we met face to face, Heidi nearly died from an allergic reaction she had while receiving her Chemo Therapy Treatment to fight Crohn's. Heidi said, "I was seconds away from dying" But praise God she is still here, and clearly the Lord is NOT done with Heidi yet, she still has work to do.  I felt so blessed that I was able to physically wrap my arms around my friend and tell her how happy I was that I got to meet her while we are still on earth and Not have to wait until we got to heaven.  

Walking The Dark Hills With Jesus By My Side

A month ago yesterday, my husband Jeremy kicked me out of our home,
and told me he wants a divorce. That after 6 years of dealing with my
mental illness (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and my physical illness
(Crohn's Disease) as well as me not productively dealing with stress and
at times verbally lashing out at him and my family.  He is done.

He says the only way to save our marriage (possibly) is for me to return
to counseling and get help in coping and productively dealing with the
emotional, physical, and sexual abuse I've endured over the past 20
years by numerous people, the main one being my first husband who held
me against my will as well as, beat, raped and threatened to murder me
for 6 months before I was able to get away from him when I was only 19
years old.

I was in counseling 5 years ago, but due to budget cuts and I didn't have insurance at the time due to Medicare telling me I had  to wait 2 years to be able to get my health insurance,
I was told by the counseling center that I was NOT allowed to come back
because they had no funds to help people like me (people without
insurance who was on a special sliding pay scale) Also the counselors I
was given (3 to be exact in just 1 year) were NOT trained to handle
people like me with PTSD and had no idea on how to treat me so my entire
time in counseling back 5 years ago was a dead end and i was thrown
under the bus again. My second time since I was 17 years old when I
first showed signs of PTSD yet back in 1998 there was no such thing as
PTSD and so for 17 years now I have been throw under the bus by numerous
counselors, hospitals, psychiatrists, and doctors.

However, my new counselor is certified and trained in PTSD counseling and knows
exactly how to treat me, she says. She already has a plan ready for
action in 2 weeks. She will be doing a treatment/therapy on me that is a
specific PTSD treatment that I have NEVER in my entire time fighting
this mental illness had someone do. She is confident it will help and be
just the first step on my new road to recovery.  I have a very hard
time trusting people but this lady after just 2 sessions I already feel
75% comfortable and trusting towards her.  No one has ever talked to me
and supported me the way this lady has in just 2 sessions.  And NEVER
once did she say (unlike every other counselor I've had) "I'm not sure
what to do to help you" so already I like her for not saying that.

In the mean time while all this is going on, I am moving out of my home
with Jeremy. This week I got everything that is mine out of the
downstairs of our town house, and this weekend Jeremy and I will begin
on the upstairs. And by the middle or end of Oct. I will be moved out of
our home completely.  Jeremy and I talk in some form everyday still, we
are nice and kind to each other. We still love each other, but he says
it isn't a matter of loving me, it is a matter of living with me and
dealing with all the health problems I have, and that I'm not dealing
with them in a productive manner.

No one can deny that I am under an enormous amount of stress dealing with Crohn's Disease,
but to also be dealing with Post Traumatic Stress disorder and
everything that come with it is too much for any one person to have to
go through at times.

I want to save my marriage of 7 years, I want to get better mentally and physically. I want to be able
to deal with stress productively instead of lashing out verbally at my
husband, family and friends. Because even if my marriage doesn't
survive, I still need counseling because I lash out verbally to my
family and friends at times and so in the end all my current and future
relationships are in jeopardy if I don't get the right counselor and
right treatment for this PTSD. And I will just continue to push people
away until I'm lost and alone without a friend in the world. 

I do not know what the future holds, but I know my Jesus holds the future
in his hands and He has always and will continue to take care of me. In
the face of all this I have not lost my faith, through every trial in
my life, the Lord has always been there directing and guiding me and I
know that 14 years ago he literally saved me from being murdered and
allowed me to survive so that I could be here today, then He can help me
through this, because I have survived so much worse than what I'm going
through today.

That is truly how I am able to get up every morning and face each day despite of the hell I am going through. Because if it was up to my first husband I would be dead 14 years now.
14 years my family would still be grieving, 14 years of hell they would
still be enduring knowing they would never see me again on this earth. 
14 years of visiting my grave on my birthday and holidays. That's why I
continue to fight, life is a gift and I try not to take it for granted
and cherish every good day that I have with my health and I can enjoy it
with the ones I love.

Yesterday Was The 3 Year Anniversary Of My Diagnoses With Crohn's Disease

Yesterday was a rough day, but I made it through as I always have over the past 3 years.

Yesterday Sept. 7th, was the day I got the letter that changed my life forever.

Yesterday 3 years ago was the day i was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease after suffering for 4 years prior with an unknown illness that never went away.

Yesterday was the day that we (my family, and friends) started praying for a miracle from God to heal me, and we have not and never will give up hope for a cure or miraculous healing.

Today, I'm still sick. Today I'm still not in remission after 3 years of med changes and hospitalizations. Today I'm still recovering from a surgery that should have only taken 2 months to recover from but is taking over 4 months for me because I'm so sick. Today I'm not very independent and rely on family and friends to help take care of me and or get me to appointments.

But today i choose to still trust Jesus. Today I choose to not quite. Today I choose to keep on fighting and striving to live and not just survive this life. Today I got out of bed. dressed and prepared myself to face this day.

Update on Visit To My Surgeon on August 26th

A week ago, I went back to OSU East Hospital to see my colon/rectal surgeon, because I have continued to have rectal bleeding and sometimes very bad bleeding since my surgery in April.

The Surgeon examined me and sadly I still have not completely healed from my surgery back in April!!  This is one of the bad side effects of Crohn's our bodies can't heal from surgeries and things like that due to our compromised immune systems, and add that the Crohn's is still not in remission and I'm having 4-7 bowel movements mostly diarrhea most days and that doesn't help at all.

So I am to continue to use butt creams and try not to have so many bowel movements, and "don't wipe your butt" the surgeon says I'm to Dab dry/clean my behind. Wiping tears and irritates surgery area more he says. UGH!!!!

However, even with this bad news, I'm still happy I went through with the surgery because I'm still doing 90% better than I was before the surgery.  So a 2 month recovery from surgery for a normal person has turned into over a 4 month recovery for this "Crohnie".  But I'll make it and with the Lord helping me.

My Adventure to See The Wizard Of Oz

On Saturday August 30, 2014 My Mom, my bestfriend Amanda, and I went and saw the movie The Wizard Of Oz at our local historic Theatre to celebrate the films 75th anniversary! It was a fantastic time, except that the building had no air conditioning and the heat rose up to over 80 degrees in the theatre and the place was sold out. We sweated our butts off, but in the end it was worth it to see this film for the first time on the Big Screen as it was shown back in 1939.  

After the movie we all went to IHOP and had some great food and some great conversations and even greater laughs.  Mom, Amanda, and I didn't get home until nearly Midnight! And I didn't get sick once! I also did nearly starve myself to try and give myself a better chance at not getting sick. And I did pay for it the next day with very bad fatigue and pain, but for that one night everything was perfect.

 My mom was the person who got me loving The Wizard Of Oz when I was 2 years old and when I saw that our city was having this event she was the first person I knew I had to see it with, and then to have my long time friend Amanda be able to come too was the icing on the cake. This day is down as one of the best days of my life!

Pills, Doctors, Crohn's Disease, and The Wizard Of Oz!!

Well This week, my new primary care doctor put me on a new blood pressure medication and so now I will NEVER have to be on Potassium pills with this new med, and this medication actually will help increase my potassium level, which I'm always struggling to keep up due to diarrhea and mal-absorption because of Crohn's.  He isn't putting me on anything for my heart rate because he believes my heart rate stays high due to my chronic intestinal pain due to Crohn's Disease and he hopes that my GI doctor will be able to get my Crohn's pains under control so my body isn't in so much distress.

However speaking of diarrhea, today has been the worst day I've had in 4 days! Literally it looks like I have taken the prep for a colonoscopy, I'm not absorbing anything I've eaten over the past 24 hours and I'm pooing straight water diarrhea, so far today I've had 5 hits of that and my poor bum is screaming in pain and bleeding. Needless to say, I have done nothing but sit in my chair, sit on the toilet, or lie in bed waiting for this horrible rollercoaster ride to stop.

I'm just praying tomorrow will be better, because my dad and his fiance' are coming over for the evening so I can help them print up some invitations for their wedding in October.

Next week is going to be VERY busy. Next Tuesday I'm returning to my colon/rectal surgeon so he can examine me and maybe figure out why I keep bleeding from my rectum when he told me that the rectal bleeding should have stopped 2 months after my surgery. Well, it's been 4 months since my surgery and I'm still bleeding and I know it's partly due to the Crohn's and the diarrhea, but I'm having blood running out of me randomly and even passing small blood clots at times, even if I don't have a bowel movement! Yeah that scares me and everyone else when this happens.

Then on Friday I go to my Grandma's house for the day to do laundry and spend the day with her and my Grandpa

But Saturday is my REALLY BIG DAY!!! I'M BEYOND EXCITED OVER THIS!!!

NEXT SATURDAY AUGUST 30, 2014 WILL FOR EVER LIVE IN INFAMY FOR ME! BECAUSE I GET TO SEE "THE WIZARD OF OZ" MOVIE IN A MOVIE THEATER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!!!!

The Wizard Of Oz is my favorite movie and I'm a fanatic over it and the Oz books! Our local Historic Theater is showing it Only One Time!!! So my mom, Jeremy and I are extremely lucky we got tickets, and truly the reason we got them was because I have a friend who works for our local Chamber Of Commerce and she had the inside info on this event and the moment she found out they were showing the movie, she immediately thought of me and wrote me about the event. So the day the tickets went on sale was the day I got mine. And the tickets are only 5 dollars a person!!!

We already have a game plan of getting me to the theater and where to sit so if I do get sick during the movie we can get me to a bathroom easily.  The plan is to sit all the way in the back of the theater in the last row closest to the doors so if we have to make a quick exit no one will be in our way.  I'm praying I have the best day ever with this disease and NOTHING stops me from having this once in a lifetime chance to see this movie as it was viewed back in 1939 when it first came out.

We are already planning to shoot a video of us going to see the movie and taking LOTS of pictures.  I'm hoping to possibly find some costumes for us to wear because they are encouraging people to dress up and they are having a costume contest!!!

I can't wait to share with everyone, all my friends are so excited I get to go because they know how little I do get to go out and of course they all know I'm an Oz fanatic.  I've told my family, that when I die this will be one of the main thing I will always be remembered for "That Miranda Caverley, I remember how, she loved the Wizard Of Oz" I think that is a pretty awesome thing to be remembered for.

I'll be writing again next week as I find out the results from the surgeon appointment and of course I'll be sharing those pics from the Wizard Of Oz event!

My Dad Is Getting Married!!!

So I have some great news!

My Dad is getting married on October 4, 2014! And I could not be more happier for him, He is marrying an amazing woman named Diane who my dad and his parents have known since she was a little girl when her parents attended a church my Grandpa was the pastor of back in the 60's.  And now all these years later, Diane starts coming to the church my Grandparents and my husband and I attend and my dad came a few Sundays to our church and they met and immediately liked each other.  Now just a few months later, they are engaged and preparing for their wedding. 

I have not seen my dad this happy in decades let's just say, and Diane is to me another Mom NOT my step mother. She is so loving and caring and has truly brought the best out of my dad, I haven't seen this side of my dad since I was little and I'm 33 years old now!  Even my husband Jeremy calls her Mom when we spend time together, Jeremy says Diane reminds him so much of him mom (Jeremy's mother died in 2000) when he was little, and before his mom began drinking and using drugs.  Jeremy tells me it's as if God has given him his mom back in a way, and Diane loves Jeremy and me like we are her own children. 

My Grandparents are just as excited to see my dad and Diane together.  My Grandma says it is an answer to her prayers so that if/when she and my grandpa pass away my dad won't be left alone. My Grandparent's healths are declining, especially my Grandpa's, and we don't know how many more years we will have with him. They both are 76 years old.  My Grandma told me today, that one of  two of her prayers have been answered, and now God just has to answer the other.....That I be healed from Crohn's disease before she dies.  She says she just can't deal with the thought of leaving me here on earth to suffer with this disease and she not be here to help me through these bad days the disease puts me through. I'm holding on to her prayer and know that God will heal me one day whether I stay here on earth or whether I go on to heaven I'm a winner either way and I will be healed.

Jeremy and I will be doing the video and photos of the wedding and our whole church is helping put the whole thing together. Our pastor's wife volunteered to make the cake! And the ladies of the church have decided to put on the reception!! I can not express how much I love the people of my church, they are such loving and giving people.

So that is my good news and I guess the end of this update since it is so long. I'll make this subject it's own post and write another one to share about all the other things that have happened this week and getting ready to happen next week.

But let us pray that God allow me to have a good day so I can help with the wedding and help capture this special moment in my family's life.

Laugh Out Loud Funny! 29 Things Only Someone With Crohn's Would Understand

I found this on Healthline.com and laughed so hard I nearly pooed my pants because it is sooooooo true.

29 Things Only Someone with Crohn’s Would Understand

1. Baby wipes aren’t just for babies.

2. It’s possible to clog a toilet bowl without paper.

3. “Fast food” describes the speed at which it will come out of your butt.

4. Italian food puts a hit on your small intestine.

5. Public restroom, private nightmare.

6. It’s wise to only purchase brown or black underwear.

7. Matches burn away shame.

8. Sometimes you’re on so many meds that the pills are a meal on their own.

9. Remicade is for readers.

10. When you obstruct, you understand the pain of childbirth.

11. There are many ways to prep an H.

12. If they love you despite the smells that come out of your butt, they’re the one.

13. Your colon is a cave of mysteries. Be prepared for spelunkers.

14. Barium is like a McDonald’s vanilla shake, except without the flavor or the happy.

15. Small talk is largely annoying during a colonoscopy.

16. We find bathrooms the way Indiana Jones finds treasure.

17. Solid poo means it’s going to be a good day.

18. The more ingredients it contains, the more reasons you have not to eat it.

19. Great outdoors, awful bathrooms.

20. Aisle seat, dude. Aisle seat.

21. Steroids make your muscles bigger, mostly the ones in your face.

22. Obstruction + salad = the opposite of healthy.

23. Speeding tickets can be less costly than dry cleaning tickets.

24. Mike McCready is a rockstar for a whooooooole different reason.

25. Mexican food makes you run for the border of the nearest toilet.

26. If Gandalf had Crohn’s and encountered popcorn, he’d yell, “You shall not pass!”

27. Drinking to forget your pain will only make you remember your Crohn’s.

28. IBD is worth it just to get out of jury duty.

29. Crohn’s makes people interesting, deep, intelligent, and cool.

"Winter's Tale" Is My New Favorite Movie To Watch When I'm Really Sick

The Plot of Winter's Tale Is....
Every person on this earth holds within them a Miracle that is meant for only one person, and before we die we must share that miracle with the one person it is meant for, and only then can we go up into the sky and become stars. But be warned for as we draw closer to accomplishing our miracle the devil and his demons are out to stop us, but at the same time God (or as they call it the "universe") steps in to help us accomplish our miracle. And neither time nor space can stop our miracles.

This movie is not biblical based it is a fairytale/fantasy, but when fighting a life long incurable disease sometimes you need a bit of fantasy to escape from the terrible reality we face.

But at the same time, when we know Jesus as our personal Savior and he saves us from our sins we are a walking miracle and even through death we experience a miracle....heaven, eternal life, where there is no more disease and death and we can live forever. 

And I literally watch this movie once a day when the Crohn's Disease has
me knocked flat on my back and I need a miracle from God to take away
my pain because there is no cure for it.  Sometimes we need a fairytale to help us through the day.  I hope you get to watch this movie and it helps you believe that God still works Miracles even today.

Too Sick and Weak To Go To Church And It's Driving Me Mad

To say that I'm upset about not being well enough to go back to church and just enjoy being in church and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters over the past month, is an understatement.

My body is continuing to fight me tooth n nail right now, if i attempt playing my drums and getting my heart rate up i feel like I'm having a heart attack because my heart rate is so out of control I cannot get it below 103 bpm when I am awake and only when I sleep do i get my heart to go down to the upper 90's.

The good news is my new primary care doctor is aware of this and he is going to be getting me on some new meds to try and help my pain which is the main cause for my high heart rate or putting on a med to control my heart rate.

This whole weekend i have been completely exhausted to the point that my friend who came over today for a quick visit, took one look at me said, "Miranda you need to go to bed you look really tired" she knows me way too well I can't fool my Mama Dawn no matter how hard I try. So that is exactly what i did when she left and have been there all day.

So yeah I'm mad as heck because I have no strength and can't find the strength to climb out of this bed, take a shower, put on nice clothes, pack my drums and go to church. And I feel like I'm worthless because I can't go out and do ministry and fellowship with my brothers and sisters

New Doctor Means New Plan Of Action To Battle The Side Effects Of Crohn's Disease

I'm finally back home after my 2 days stay with my Grandma and Poppy's. My first appointment with my new primary care physician went extremely well. He knew what Crohn's disease is and even what he had to keep an eye on. And he even said he would be working together with my GI doctor because all my health problems that he has to manage are side effects due to Crohn's disease and or side effects from the medications I'm on due to Crohn's. I was at the doctor's office for 3 hours!!! I never had a doctor take this much time with me in my entire life. I'm not the kind of patient you can just see for 10-15 minutes and then rush me out the door. The nurses and office staff were shocked at how sick i am being so young, they were clearly affected let's just put it that way.

The doctor talked with me for 30 minutes or longer reviewing my monstrous pile of medical records that I have accumulated in just 4 years. He was overwhelmed to say the least with all the paper work on me. But he has a plan and is going to be running regular blood work on me every 3-6 months as needed to check my levels that the GI doctor won't normally check. So I get to have double the blood work done every few months between the 2 doctors, but that is ok, I'm so use to it it doesn't bother me. Thank God I was never scared of needles or blood.

So the plan right now is to keep me on the same meds my old primary care doctor had me on and we are waiting for the blood work results to see if he can change my heart/blood pressure meds and if I need to be on any prescription strength vitamins/minerals due to malnutrition/malabsorption because of Crohn's.

Yeah sometimes I actually get malnourished even though I'm over weight. The weight is due to the steroids not because I eat too much. I don't eat enough and or enough of the right kinds of food because my body rejects it. I told a lady yesterday, that if I didn't have to eat I wouldn't because food=pain and the longer I can go without eating the less pain i am in. The funny thing is, every time i go to the doctor since i was first put on steroids 2 years ago i can never lose this weight but i never gain anymore which i am so thankful for, but even though the scales say no weight loss all my jeans are too big for me now, i'll take losing the inches at least i'm losing something. The doctors don't get on me too much about my weight because they know i'm not doing it to myself, they know it's the meds they have prescribed. And they clearly see i'm not gaining anymore so that to them is fantastic that i have not gained a pound it nearly 3 years. 






So, to see how many inches I have lost on my waist, I put on a pair of old jeans I have not been able to fit into in 3 years since I was first put on steroids. And amazingly, they fit perfectly!!! I now have 6 pairs of pant/capris that are too big for me and have to be put back in storage....hopefully forever!!

And for the next week I am to keep track of my heart rate because I am not on anything for it and my heart rate goes sky high a lot due to Crohn's pain and it feels like my chest is going to explode sometimes. And in a week call him back with the results and if my heart rate is still a problem then he will put me back on medication for that.

 

Heartbreaking Is What It Is

I haven't made an update in over a week.  Because some very heartbreaking stuff has happened, and I'm glad it's over with. 

For 2 weeks now I have not been able to go play drums again at my church.  It seems I'm starting to go backwards instead of forwards in my health, and Crohn's is really kicking my butt again. 

I have begun to randomly hemorrhage from my rectum and passing blood and blood clots. All signs that I have a new Fissure (tear in my intestine/colon) and the fatigue, weakness and intestinal pains have been hitting me out of no where with ferocious vengence.  I was laid up all weekend. 

I attempted to go to a Family Reunion on Saturday and even took my drums because my dad wanted to play music with me, but just after eating what was my first meal of the day at the reunion, I became so sick I felt like I was going to pass out.  So Dad, and Jeremy quickly packed me up (drums and all) and got me home. I didn't even get to play my drums. 

Then this past Thursday, I got the scare of my life.  My friend Heidi who has battled Crohn's since she was a pre-teen and is now in her 20's nearly died.  Heidi has been on Remicade (Chemo) treatments for years and this is the only medication that helps her crohn's. But on Thursday while getting her infusion at the hospital, Heidi had a dangerous allergic reaction to the remicade and nearly died. As she posted in her facbook status after the doctors and nurses saved her life she says, "I was seconds away from dying". I have never met Heidi in person because she lives all the way down in Florida, but she is one of my best fb friends, crohn's friends, and also my sister in Christ. And I love her and her family so much.  And to know I nearly lost her due to this disease and the side effects of the meds, really hit me hard.  Because with Crohn's that's how fast things can change for the worst. One moment we are fine and the next we are fighting for our lives.

But Heidi is doing well now and is back home and even got to celebrate her son Zion's 4th Birthday over the weekend.

I myself will not be on any medication to fight my crohn's disease very soon, because the Entocort (steroids) medication I have been on for the past 6 weeks is not working again for the 2nd time.  So once I am off this I will be having it put in my medical record that this medication does not help me and to not prescribe it.  And because I'm coming off these steroids, my mood swings are out of control and I am even hallucinating at times, and still having my feet swell up with fluid, but that is getting better as I tapper off.  The side effects of these drugs they put us on to fight this disease are worse than the disease itself at times.  And so far in 2 1/2 years I've been put on 5 different meds to try and get me in remission and nothing has helped.  So in October when I go back to my GI doctor it's back to the drawing board on what to try next and if my insurance will even cover the medication they want to try next.

However, in the face of all this, I'm taking up crocheting again and making hats and scarves for the homeless in our area of Ohio.  I call it the Smitten Mitten Expedition, and this will be the 4th year I've done it.  Already I've received yarn donations and even money donations to buy yarn, and so far in 2 weeks I have made 2 sets for men and 3 sets for women.  And on the first week of November I take the items to local homeless shelters and give the items away.  So even if I can't go play drums right now and things are bad, I'm still fighting and continuing to do what I can for the Lord and to make a difference in the lives of people.

Here is the link to see the items I have made so far SMITTEN MITTEN EXPEDITION ITEMS 

Miranda Playing Drums At Plug Run Church

Sunday June 29, 2014

Video Of Miranda Caverley playing Drums for the First Time Publicly in 5 years.

Songs Performed
Instrumental
Just Over In The Glory Land
Oh I Want To See Him
A Little Talk With Jesus

Miranda
has been playing drums since she was 3 years old and professionally for
the past 18 years. But due to Crohn's disease, Miranda has not been
able to play for 5 years.

However, after having surgery on
April 25, 2014 and then an extensive recovery over the past 2 months,
Miranda is finally well enough to play again professionally.

Miranda
will be playing every Sunday night at Plug Run Church In Chillicothe
Ohio. Miranda also hopes to also begin playing with other musician
friends in the near future as well, as long as her health continues to
improve.

Making A Joyful Noise Unto The Lord

Last night, I did something I have not been able to do in 5 yrs.....I played my drums at Church!

My church has been asking me for 2 years to bring my drums and start playing for them because they have no drummer.  But due to Crohn's I have not had the physical strength to play, until last night!

I have playing drums professionally for 18 years, I started playing for churches, revivals, and songfests locally when I was 15 years old.  But my love for the drums and a hunger to play started when I was just 3 years old!

Me age 4 or 5 years old with my sister Autumn Age 2 or 3 years old playing on my Aunt Lori's Drum set. This is the drum set I cut my drumming teeth on

One of the last videos of me performing was taken back in 2008 at The Salvation Army's Divisional Women's Retreat those videos are on my youtube channel. The next year I was too sick to play and have not played professionally since that time, that was until last night!

Me at my home church Plug Run last night playing for the first time in 5 years. The set up may look a little strange but with this set up I can have an entire drum set, toms, cymbals, and all with out taking up alot of space

I had so much fun just making a joyful noise unto the Lord, and the entire church was so blessed they told me to have me play for them.  To look out in the audience and see my Grandma, Grandpa, cousins and my husband all watching me with such big smiles on their faces was just so awesome.

My Cousin Richard playing the Guitar, His wife Cookie,and my Grandma singing a special song, and me backing them up on drums.  It was so great to play with my family.

Not only did I get to play for the congregation singing but my cousin Richard sang and His wife Cookie and my Grandma sang with him while I backed them up on the drums. I love playing with my family, we all are very musically talented, Especially my Dad's side of the family, music is in our blood. I'm the only female drummer on my dad's side of the family and I'm the 2nd female drummer on my mom's side of the family.

It was very special to see my husband Jeremy in the audience just watching me with the look of, "yep that's my baby up there play those drums!" He just beamed with pride for me.  I call him my roadie hehe haha.

We had no idea if my body could last the entire service because I have not played this long straight since before I got really sick, but my body held up and I made it through the whole service without getting sick!

My whole life all I've ever known is music and church, and that's what I love to do. I love to play music for the Lord. Even if there would be no one in the audience I'd still be happy to play, because the Lord is there and He is the reason I play, being a blessing to others is just a perk to me. 

Without Jesus I could not do any of this, and He gets all the glory.  I am just a vessel to be used by Him to help inspire and lead people to be saved.  I always tell people, do look at me, Look At Him! Because without the Lord none of what I have accomplished could have happened.

Jeremy did take video clips of me playing, and we will get those clips into a video and upload them to my youtube channel in the next couple of days.