To
say that I'm upset about not being well enough to go back to church and
just enjoy being in church and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters
over the past month, is an understatement.
My body is
continuing to fight me tooth n nail right now, if i attempt playing my
drums and getting my heart rate up i feel like I'm having a heart attack
because my heart rate is so out of control I cannot get it below 103 bpm when I am awake and only when I sleep do i get my heart to go down to the upper 90's.
The good news is my new primary care doctor is aware of this and he is
going to be getting me on some new meds to try and help my pain which is
the main cause for my high heart rate or putting on a med to control my
heart rate.
This whole weekend i have been completely
exhausted to the point that my friend who came over today for a quick
visit, took one look at me said, "Miranda you need to go to bed you look
really tired" she knows me way too well I can't fool my Mama Dawn no
matter how hard I try. So that is exactly what i did when she left and
have been there all day.
So yeah I'm mad as heck because I
have no strength and can't find the strength to climb out of this bed,
take a shower, put on nice clothes, pack my drums and go to church. And
I feel like I'm worthless because I can't go out and do ministry and
fellowship with my brothers and sisters
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