Still, I have NEVER weighted this much in my life, and it has all been because of the steroids that the doctors have put me on over the past 3 years. And now that it is proven that the steroids do NOTHING for me and also cause me to be suicidal and have severe mental problems, my doctor told me he will NEVER put me on them again!!!! YAY!!! Happy Dance!!!
Then over the past 4 weeks my husband Jeremy and I have made some big progress in healing our marriage and working towards reconciling. Jeremy came and had Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, then the past 2 weekends I have gone over to his house and spent the weekend with him and we've had some great date nights together. We are hoping to officially be back together on Christmas day if things continue to go the way they are. Tomorrow Jeremy and I are going to see my counselor together for a session and we will be talking about my progress over the past 3 months in the PTSD therapy. I love my husband with all my heart, and I will do whatever I can to save my marriage and keep my vows that I made before God. Jeremy tells me every day he loves me, which nearly 4 months ago he could not say nor wanted to say. But now as we have continued to talk and work on our marriage and also me going to counseling and learning to deal with the abuse I endured in the past and also learning how to deal with the disease and health problems i will be facing for the rest of my life everyone can see I am doing much better mentally. I have to focus on the things I have control over in my life and let go of the things I have no control over. Focus on the positives and let go of the negatives.
Also, I've been crocheting lots more over the past few weeks because I am making Christmas presents for my Grandma and Step Mom. My Grandma asked me to make her a throw blanket. I had never made a blanket in my life and so I came up with my own design/pattern and Grandma said she wanted the colors in Patriotic Red, white, and blue. Below is the finished product and my Grandma loves it. I call it "Grandma's Patriotic Throw Blanket"
I will post pics of my Step mother's gift when she gets it on Christmas so I can take a pic of her wearing the items.
Then, with the extra yarn i have left over from the blanket and the hat, scarf, hand warmers, and head band I made for my step mom I've made different size skull cap hats and ear warmer head bands to sell. I'm also looking to start making things to sell at crafts bizarre and such over the next year that will maybe help me pay for my ever growing medical bills that unfortunately will never end.
Right now even though today has been a bad day, I'm so happy knowing all these good things are happening in the face of my suffering with this disease and all these positives make the negatives not so hard to face.
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