Update on my Visit to the Rheumatologist: Yesterday I went to see my
new doctor and the good news is, He knows my GI/Crohn's Disease
specialist and he is knows a lot about Crohn's Disease and all the
problems it can cause.
The Bad News, the doctor does not think I
have fibromyalsia He thinks I have a form of arthritis through out my
body that is specifically caused by the Crohn's Disease. Which means
that my immune system has decided to start attacking my joints, muscles
now along with attacking GI tract. The rheumatologist said "sadly once
you get one auto-immune disease you will get more"
To diagnose
this type of arthritis is very tough and much like diagnosing
Fibromyalsia, so that means there isn't a specific test that can be done
to say "hey you have this new incurable illness"
it's more like
the rheumatologist has to look at my symptoms and my medical history and
just make a diagnosis and see if treating my symptoms through this type
of diagnosis will help ease my pain.
the other bad news, the
main way to treat this type of arthritis is through biologic medications
such as Humira injections (which i have already been on in the past)
Remicade infusions (a type of Chemotherapy). When he told me this i got
upset because when I was on Humira/biologics before, I was constantly
sick, catching every little thing floating around in the air, no energy
and down right sick feeling 24/7 not to mention it made me start to lose
my hair and I had to cut it all off very short to stop it from falling
out.
So the game plan, the doctor has ordered blood work to
first rule out Rheumatoid Arthritis because he said there is a chance i
could have RA and not just the crohn's induced arthritis, he said he is
hoping along with me that it is NOT RA and agreed I have been through so
much I don't need that form of Arthritis on top of Crohn's. If i had
to choose between RA and this crohn's induced arthritis I would rather
take the crohn's induced arthritis, because RA is the worst form of
arthritis you can ever get. And blood work to try and confirm the
crohn's induced arthritis.
After the results come back from my
blood work then the doctor will call me to tell me the test results and
to set up another appointment to work on a game plan for my official
diagnosis. The doctor said he also is going to call my GI/ Crohn's
specialist and talk to him about running tests on me to make sure my
crohn's is still in remission in my guts. I pray they won't do a
colonoscopy since i am not having diarrhea, not having pain all the
time, not having blood in my stool, or having problems digesting food
and holding food down. I pray that my doctor will just order blood work
and a ct-scan on my guts to look for inflammation.
To say I
didn't cry a little would be a lie, oh yes i teared up. Especially when
the doctor looked at me and said before he ended my visit "your body
has been through so much, I'm so sorry" because he knows there is no
cure for what I have and it is not for certain even the medications will
help ease my suffering. the doctor also said "you right Crohn's is not
just a pooping disease, it affects every inch of your body"
I
told him that I had 26 healthy years and I am so happy I got those 26
years. And i shared with him about getting sick just 12 days after
Jeremy and I got married and how we have literally been fighting this
disease our whole marriage. The look on his face when i told him this
you could see his heart break for me. But I told him before i left that
"i figure if i got to see a new doctor i just think of it as i get to
make a new best friend" and he laughed and said that was a great way to
look at it.
So there it is my friends. You would think that
after continually being diagnosed with different health problems over
the past 8 years it wouldn't bother me so much when I get a new
diagnosis. But the reality is, you never do i think. It's like every
time you hear the doctor say the words "incurable" or "disease" it never
gets easier. It literally feels like a part of me has died and I have
to take time to grieve that part of me I have lost and then pick myself
up off the floor again, give this new illness/disease to God and say
"here you handle it, I'm just too weak to carry this on my own" have a
good cry and then move on and focus on the things I still have control
over and can do with what life I have in the face of these illnesses.
The thing that made it oh so much easier to deal with, was having my
sister and my grandmother there with me when I got the news. I have to
brag about my sister Autumn for a moment. My sister has never had the
chance to be there with me when I have gotten the "bad news" speech
before and yesterday she decided to go back with me to the examination
room instead of my grandma. Autumn got a front row seat of my life with
Crohn's and she saw how it affects the doctors to not be able to
cure/heal me but all they can say is "I'm so sorry" and "we will do what
we can"
I was thinking last night, for those who have said they
want to be a part of my journey with this disease in the past, first
off you have to be ready to put your feet to fire because you are going
to get burned and it is going to hurt and you WILL have scars, at times
it may seem the fire will consume you because you feel so helpless to
help me and stop my suffering, but that is why we must trust the Lord
and just love and support me through this just as I have continued tp
love and support my friends and family when they have faced health
problems. I think about the story of shadrach meshach and abednego,
they were in the midst of the fire and yet it did NOT consume them, it
did NOT destroy them, for God was with them in the flames. And that is
about the only way to describe what my little support group of friends
and family go through with me. But at the end of the day I just keep
saying to myself, this pain and suffering WILL end one day God will heal
me either while I'm still on this earth or when I go to heaven, I'm a
winner either way.
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