Miranda, The Doctor wants to start you on Chemotherapy Treatment, The Nurse Told Me On The Phone Today

After talking to my 3 doctors today, my GI doctor has decided to start me on Remicade which is chemotherapy to treat my crohn's disease. 

 3 weeks ago, I was diagnosed with Crohn's induced arthritis which means my immune system is not just attacking my guts, but also my joints and bones!! The only good thing about this is that it is not as severe as Rheumatoid arthritis but still causes damage to my joints and bones if left untreated.  The only treatment for this type of arthritis is to "aggressively treat the crohn's disease" as my rheumatologist told me.  The doctor thinks I have PERIPERAL ARTHRITIS here is a link to learn more about the different types of Crohn's Disease induced arthritis and about my particular arthritis
http://www.ccfa.org/resources/arthritis.html

Then in the past 7 days i have had every crohn's symptom i've ever had in the past suddenly hit me at the same time. I have had my mouth and tongue covered in ulcers (took 5 days to clear up and still fighting to clear up one on my bottom lip) never ending intestinal pain, diarrhea, severe fatigue, loss of appetite, pain ulcers/boils on the side of my stomach, and then last night a 10 minute dry heaving session trying to throw up everything that is in my stomach, that made me nearly pass out before it ended.

So after reviewing my symptoms and my new diagnosis the GI/Crohn's Specialist wants to see me next Tuesday Morning to start all the blood work and other tests for me to move forward starting Remicade/Chemotherapy.  Here is a link to read about Remicade and how it is used to treat Crohn's disease http://www.remicade.com/

Of Course my biggest fears of taking Chemo is 
1. will I start to lose my hair, because when I was on Humira my hair started falling out and I was forced to cut my hair very short to stop it from falling out and thinning anymore than it had. 
2. Will it make me really sick before it starts to work 
3. Will it even work, because Crohn's isn't like Cancer where doctors are certain it will work, with Crohn's it's literally "well lets try this and see if it will work" 
4. Contracting some kind of virus or infection and I can't fight it off and I die because my immune system is so depleted from the Chemo. 
5. Getting Cancer down the road due to taking the Chemo.  

So many fears and thoughts running through my head today, but I am gradually going to take these fears and hand them to God and say "you have to take these because I cannot handle them" and hope and pray for the best that the Chemo will work and I can get a bit of my life back again.  I am truly in God's hands at this point, I do not know what tomorrow holds, BUT I KNOW WHO HOLDS TOMORROW!  

Pray for me friends and family and also pray for my sister, mom, dad, step mom, and grandparents as they walk through this with me, and we get ready to put our feet to the fire again in this battle against this disease.