Crohn's, It Takes Everything From You And Yet It Demands More

My New Hair Cut Thanks To Crohn's Disease

As I wrote in the title of this blog, Crohn's really does takes everything from you and yet demands more. And now it is taking my hair. Today after 3 weeks of fighting with my hair falling out in handfuls due to Crohn's and the Humira injections, I went and got all my hair cut off.

This is the shortest my hair has been since I was in kindergarten! I didn't cry at the beauty salon until after my hair was cut and i was walking to the car for Jeremy to take me home.  My hair was to be completely honest, was the only thing I ever liked about myself and now that is gone too.

No matter if it grows out I'll have to cut it again once it starts to reach my shoulders because that is the length when my hair starts to really fall out.  It's as if when my hair start to have some weight to it, it just breaks off in handfuls.

  I can't tell you how many balls of hair I've found on the carpet and every time I find one it's scary because you aren't expecting to pick up your hair.  Because the balls look like dirt or that someone has spilled something on the carpet but no it's my hair.

To try and help stop this from continuing to happen, Jeremy is going to go get me some Prenatal Vitamins and see if that helps.  But for now I'll just have to stick to cutting my hair off every few months.

When I said Crohn's Takes Everything and demands more, here are a few things it has taken away.  But then I will share what it hasn't in a hope to still stay positive despite all the negative

Things I can't do 
intimacy with my husband
going out in public
going to church
play the drums
Going for long hikes in the woods
Bike Riding
Playing Softball
having people wanting to come visit you (before i was sick i had people come to visit and i would go visit them, but not so much now)
enjoying a meal
getting enough nutrients to feel healthy
waking up in the morning feeling refreshed and awake
getting to places without having to pack a big back pack full of meds, food, water, vomit bags, tissues, hand sanitizer and doctor masks (incase I go into a place where people are coughing alot and are sick then i will have to wear a mask)
Going on Vacation with my husband or loved ones
Going for a drive out in the country
(I could keep going on but i won't, you get the picture)

Things I still can do
Read/Read my bible
spend time with my spouse and enjoy his company
write
crochet
draw
watch movies
take short walks around the house for exercise
play video games with my husband
help my husband do some of the house chores
listen to music
play piano
sing
help my husband with ministry work, when i can
Take bubble baths

If you are wondering has Crohn's effected my mind? Yes it has, it is so easy to be depressed any normal person would be. and I am. But I still continue to fight I get up every day and put on clean clothes brush my hair brush my teeth and clean my self up take my medications and try to make the best of things

I will share this story with you before I end just how quickly I can get sick and not know it is going to happen .
Last night while trying to take a bath, I suddenly got violently sick to my stomach and had not the trash can been sitting next to me I would have thrown up in the bath tub and all over myself.  Jeremy had to come running up the stairs when he heard me. Had to help me get out of the tub, dry me off, get me my anti vomiting medicine get me dressed and help me to bed.

Jeremy had been working on homework for college when I suddenly got sick and because of this episode with me and him having to take care of me, he was late turning in a paper for school and was up most of the night watching over me because I was so sick.

This disease doesn't just effect me it effects Jeremy too and at times like last night he broke down and was very upset. To take care of a Crohn's patient you have to have a great deal of love for that person because you deal with some awfully disgusting things at times and it's quite embarrassing to have to have your husband or family members take care of you and see you in this kind of state

Cleaning up vomit, diarrhea and applying creams and ointments to the body parts I can't reach because the disease has created horrible sores on them and the only time you get to go anywhere with your spouse for the day is to take them to doctors appointments, hearing me cry out all day and all night in pain at times with no way to re-leave it,  is not what someone signs up for when they get married.

But because Jeremy loves me so much he does these things for me and I don't know what I would do without his help to make it through.

So now you know the dirty truth behind this disease let us fight to find a cure because without God's healing touch all who fight this disease will suffer with it until God decides we have had enough and calls us home.