on may 28th i turned 34 years old. Wow how time has flown by, some may get depressed and down to see the number their age increase, but me i embrace every birthday God gives me. I hold on to every special moment i get to share with my husband, family and friends.
The past few weeks my crohn's symptoms have begun to increase again and mostly due to the intense stress i'm under. My husband lost his job last thursday and now we are faced with some difficult decisions and possibly rocky roads in the very near future. But no matter what happens, and I know Jesus is there guiding and directing us.
I've really been digging into the bible and doing my daily bible studies and it's so amazing how clam and at peace i am after my bible study and even with every i am facing in this life, i am reassured through his word that He will take care of me.
The other night i was lying in bed and had a horrible panic attack hit me that
lasted 2 hours. Fear had control of my mind and all the problems i am facing came crashing down on my shoulders and i could not bear the weight. So i got out my tablet and listened to the song below. I listened to it and cried and in the midst of suffering and uncertainty i raised my hands and praised my Jesus even though i was so weak i could not even stand from the weight of my burdens. i found the strength to let them go because of Jesus and i listened to the song and a peace came over me and i was able to sleep peacefully.
link to song "didn't i walk on the water" https://youtu.be/TZHbIbkq5Ks
When the music fades and the church services are over, and there are no lights or special programs to entertain and encourage us in our faith. Jesus, the bible and or salvation has to be enough to sustain our faith and relationship with Jesus. Because one day we all will get to the point where we cannot go to church as often as we want due to illness and there may not be someone coming to you to have church with you, what then? Will you have the faith to continue on in your relationship with Jesus and shout and praise His name and worship Him even when you are all alone and facing such adversity in life as you have never known? The only way my faith has sustained me through all i have been through is knowing that "I cannot even walk without Jesus holding my hand" and that i will learn to stand in the face of life's storms down on my knees in prayer. No music, no lights no fancy things to entertain or encourage, just Jesus and His word is what has sustained me.
When we can praise and worship our Lord while enduring suffering that is when you know Jesus is more powerful than anything the devil and this world can through at us ans He will take care of us.
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