Summer is almost over

This week children went back to school. There was an amazing solar eclipse on monday that made most everyone in the USA stop for a moment and stand in awe of what the heavens can do and God's amazing creation.
Aug. 4th jeremy turned 37. Aug. 22nd marked one month until our 10 year wedding anniversary and also the first day of fall.
I have not been able to go anywhere all summer except to my patio to enjoy the cool days we have had like today. Or to a store locally for a short ride and one date to a restaurant. Although the anemia is getting under control, there just anything to help the crohns disease and i have been swamped since the end of june with constant bad days, vomiting, fevers, near fainting spells (i nearly fell down our stairs earlier this month) fatigue and of course the never ending pain.
But everyday i keep fighting like i always do. I still get up and do what my body will let me. Keeping up on house cleaning and cooking meals daily takes every ounce of energy i have so it is no surprise i have no energy to go out for a date or a walk. But at least i have a clean house and thats ok with me.
I have felt pretty introverted this summer too. Which is not me, i haven't felt like talking to anyone but 3 people all summer on a regular basis. i have felt so bad i don't feel like talking. If you have ever been really really sick you know that you just don't feel like chatting. You just want to read or watch a movie or sleep until you are better.
We have had friends call or write asking if we can come visit or take a short road trip to see them. But jeremy has to explain that although we have the money and even the days off from his job to do these things, i am just too sick to travel even 30 minutes most days away from the house.
So to keep myself busy i have read some amazing books....here are just a few of the most recent
Blitz cat
Ready Player One
The zoo keepers wife
The dorothy must die book series which i have read 6 of the 7 books so far
Also continuing to crochet hats scarves and such for the homeless.....i hand those things out the first week of november and i have 2 big trash bags stuffed full already.
Playing music and hopefully will have my 70 yr old studio piano completely restored in another week or 2 so i can really enjoy playing it and making some new music videos.

Maybe when fall gets here in less than a month maybe i will have a few more good days and can take a day trip to columbus or some place exciting.

Long over due update

I haven't made an update since nearly the beginning of the year.  And really it was because things had been going so bad. 
I finally found it seems a GI doctor that will not abuse me and will listen to me and treat me like I'm a human being for once.  Dr. Emlich is very upset with how I have been treated really my entire life since getting crohns disease and the abuse and neglect I have suffered over the past 10 years of my life.  We found out from just simple blood tests that OSU could have easily done but refused to and also decided to tell me I was crazy.  That I have been anemic/iron deficient for over a year at least and was on the verge of needing a blood transfusion.  And also that I have had an infection in my stomach and intestines for over a year that was easily cured with a couple rounds of antibiotics. 
Dr. Emlich agrees that I am at the end of what medicine can do for me since I am literally allergic to everything that is on the market for Crohns and basically we monitor me and treat what symptoms we can until I get bad enough for surgery in the coming years.
Dr. Emlich also said that looking at my inflammatory levels he thinks that I would never have been put on the chemo therapy treatments in the first place because I was NOT bad enough for that treatment yet.  Yes I have moderate to severe crohns disease, but.....I also have severe irritable bowel disease as well and that is what is causing a lot of my problems not just the crohns. Which I knew as well. 
So since the beginning of May I have been on Iron supplements to help my anemia which I can feel a huge difference and all my symptoms except the fatigue have gone away. I go in a couple days to have my level checked again to see if I am back into the normal range for iron level.
I have been able to do more than I have in a year and although I am sick still every day.  I can handle being this sick because this is my normal. 
Also on June 20, 2017 Jeremy and I decided to add a new member to our family.  Miss Emily Tailor Caverley came into our lives. she is our tuxedo kitten that came from cousin jerri's home. and on july 10th she turned 3 months old she is such a joy and I am so happy I have her. 
I also turned 36 yrs old on may 28th and I am happy to be able to get to grow another year older.  Because sadly today I learned of another young crohns warrior who lost her battle with this disease. Every year God gives me is truly a blessing. 
That is about all I have for now. Hopefully I will not wait so long to write another update.   

Two Of Us performed by Miranda Caverley

 My Version of the Song "Two Of Us" by Joe Hisaishi
Dedicated to my husband Jeremy

Download this song for free at
http://www.reverbnation.com/open_graph/song/24390175

The Ludlows Performed by Miranda Caverley

My version of James Horner's song the ludlows from the movie Legends of the Fall

This song was played at my wedding and my husband Jeremy thought it fitting to put some pics of our wedding day in the video. Hope you enjoy it.

didn't i walk on the water performed by Miranda Caverley

My version of the gospel song "Didn't I Walk On The Water"
FREE download of this song
https://www.reverbnation.com/jmcministries/song/27595848-didnt-i-walk-on-water-cover

I Have Some Bad News I Have To Tell You

I have not made this post until today because I felt I needed to call all my close friends near and far away personally and tell them the latest news I received from my primary care doctor.  

I have been on the phone for nearly 2 weeks every day and multiple times a day sharing this news because i didn't feel it was right to just post a cold informal update about my health that is so serious.  I felt I owed it to all who have loved me and been in my life over the years watching as i have fought so hard against crohn's disease.

So now the time has come to tell you all and publicly share this, and I am sorry if this causes any of you pain.  

On Monday February 6, 2017, My primary care doctor gave me very bad news.  He told grandma, Jeremy and I the hard truth of where I am in my fight against crohn's disease.

he said, "my advice is to find a local GI doctor who can monitor Miranda, because at this point there really is nothing else any doctor can do.  Miranda is allergice to every treatment out there for crohn's and her only option left is surgery.  But, she is not bad enough for surgery.  And the Dr.'s will not do a bowel resection until Miranda is in an emergency situation.  The first reason is because with crohn's when you remove the place the immune system is attacking in the bowel, the immune system just goes and attacks another part of the bowel and so once they start cutting they really never stop.  The second reason is because Crohn's is an auto immune disease which causes miranda's immune system to be constantly compromised and she may not heal properly from the surgery.  that is why they wait until patients are in a life and death situation many times.

here is what is going to happen, Miranda will continue to get sicker, and sicker until her bowel becomes permanently blocked from the inflammation and scar tissue building up in her bowels.  When that happens and she starts having symptoms of a complete bowel blockage, (he looks at grandma and Jeremy at this point) you must get her to the emergency room as fast as you can before her bowel ruptures or perforates and she dies.

The E.R. docs will run xrays or ct-scans and see she has a permanent blockage and then will take her into emergency surgery and try and save her life."

We were in the my doctor's office for an hour and a half.  And he is continuing to try medications to just help my pain and make me as comfortable as he can until I get bad enough for the surgery.  

But I am only going to get sicker, there is no better now, and the hope that God allows the surgery to save my life when the time comes.

We know not when this time is coming but it will come and it will be hard and I will have a long road of recovery if I do survive the surgery.  

If for some reason God chooses to take me home and healing me that way instead of healing me through the surgery and letting me live on.  I am ok with it and at total peace about the whole situation.  

But I truly believe that through my suffering God is going to do something amazing with me.  I think of how Jesus suffered and died and through his suffering he saved the whole world. Certainly then, God can use my suffering to make a difference no matter who big or small to impact this world.  

I am not going to just lie down and die from this bad news.  NO! I am going to LIVE and I am going to LIVE and cherish every moment God gives me.  

I came close to death 2 times in a 6 month span last year from anaphalaxis reaction to the chemo meds I was on to try and fight the crohn's.  I suffered through horrible pain and agony from the reaction.  But I LIVED and I will LIVE through this bad news and whatever the future may hold.  

The Lord isn't going to take me home until HE is ready for me to come home and I have accomplished my purpose on this earth.  So I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. But whenever that day does come, I am ready to go home.