I have not made this post until today because I felt I needed to call all my close friends near and far away personally and tell them the latest news I received from my primary care doctor.
I have been on the phone for nearly 2 weeks every day and multiple times a day sharing this news because i didn't feel it was right to just post a cold informal update about my health that is so serious. I felt I owed it to all who have loved me and been in my life over the years watching as i have fought so hard against crohn's disease.
So now the time has come to tell you all and publicly share this, and I am sorry if this causes any of you pain.
On Monday February 6, 2017, My primary care doctor gave me very bad news. He told grandma, Jeremy and I the hard truth of where I am in my fight against crohn's disease.
he said, "my advice is to find a local GI doctor who can monitor Miranda, because at this point there really is nothing else any doctor can do. Miranda is allergice to every treatment out there for crohn's and her only option left is surgery. But, she is not bad enough for surgery. And the Dr.'s will not do a bowel resection until Miranda is in an emergency situation. The first reason is because with crohn's when you remove the place the immune system is attacking in the bowel, the immune system just goes and attacks another part of the bowel and so once they start cutting they really never stop. The second reason is because Crohn's is an auto immune disease which causes miranda's immune system to be constantly compromised and she may not heal properly from the surgery. that is why they wait until patients are in a life and death situation many times.
here is what is going to happen, Miranda will continue to get sicker, and sicker until her bowel becomes permanently blocked from the inflammation and scar tissue building up in her bowels. When that happens and she starts having symptoms of a complete bowel blockage, (he looks at grandma and Jeremy at this point) you must get her to the emergency room as fast as you can before her bowel ruptures or perforates and she dies.
The E.R. docs will run xrays or ct-scans and see she has a permanent blockage and then will take her into emergency surgery and try and save her life."
We were in the my doctor's office for an hour and a half. And he is continuing to try medications to just help my pain and make me as comfortable as he can until I get bad enough for the surgery.
But I am only going to get sicker, there is no better now, and the hope that God allows the surgery to save my life when the time comes.
We know not when this time is coming but it will come and it will be hard and I will have a long road of recovery if I do survive the surgery.
If for some reason God chooses to take me home and healing me that way instead of healing me through the surgery and letting me live on. I am ok with it and at total peace about the whole situation.
But I truly believe that through my suffering God is going to do something amazing with me. I think of how Jesus suffered and died and through his suffering he saved the whole world. Certainly then, God can use my suffering to make a difference no matter who big or small to impact this world.
I am not going to just lie down and die from this bad news. NO! I am going to LIVE and I am going to LIVE and cherish every moment God gives me.
I came close to death 2 times in a 6 month span last year from anaphalaxis reaction to the chemo meds I was on to try and fight the crohn's. I suffered through horrible pain and agony from the reaction. But I LIVED and I will LIVE through this bad news and whatever the future may hold.
The Lord isn't going to take me home until HE is ready for me to come home and I have accomplished my purpose on this earth. So I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. But whenever that day does come, I am ready to go home.
