Facing The Most Scary and Trying Time So Far In My Fight Yet

So much has happened in my and my husband’s life over the past month, that I just cannot write it all in one blog post.  And just to think about writing it down makes me so emotional that I just start to cry. So To allow you to know I will share my facebook updates from that past few weeks.  And then I will write a separate blog about tomorrow, as my mom takes me to OSU East Hospital for more Pre Op Testing. And also write about the results of my pre op testing and surgery when they come in.

Facebook Timeline Updates From Past To Present

7 March

Big celebration happening tonight in the caverley home. I'm not allowed to tell, but my hubby will be making a BIG announcement soon, and I will share all when he does. But for now splurging on some Ben and Jerry's ice cream for dessert and taking my honey out for dinner. — feeling proud.

9 March

This is the big announcement: My husband starts his new job tomorrow as a data analysis at McGraw hill education in blacklick Ohio. We hope to move closer to his job in the next 7 months. So, goodbye chillicothe, after 33 years of living here I'm ready for a new adventure and a change of scenery.

14 March

My husband just finished his first full week at his new job. So proud of him. Lasagna, garlic bread and pie for dinner to celebrate national pi day. Because I married a geek — with Jeremy Caverley.

27 March

At grandma's for the night, then heading to the hospital in the morning to have blood work done, and a echo cardiogram and if everything comes back normal, I'm cleared for surgery at the end of next month. Asking for continued prayers as I continue to fight this disease and against all the side effects that it continues to cause. — feeling ready.

28 March

Urgent prayer request: after 2 hours of having my blood work done, the doctor's office was calling me to inform me that my potassium level was dangerously low. The sad news is I'm already on potassium prescription strength pills and still my level is low. I told the nurse I wasn't surprised because of all the vomiting and diarrhea I continue to have and that there are days I can't hold the medication down especially the potassium Med because it is very hard on the stomach and can cause vomiting n diarrhea by itself.

So the nurse talked to the doctor and there are only 2 choices left for me and the last one I really don't want to have to do. The first option which we are trying is another form of potassium in tablet form that dissolves in water like alka seltzer tablets and I drink this 2 times a day, but if I continue to vomit and not be able to get my level up then we are faced with the last option. If I can't get this under control by pills, then I will have to have potassium infusions. Meaning, once a week at the least I will have to go to the hospital be hooked up to iv's and a heart monitor and have the potassium put into me that way either until the doctors can get my condition under control or possibly for the rest of my life.

This is a very serious situation I'm constantly fighting against because if my potassium level drops too low I can go into cardiac arrest and die. And or my kidneys can shut down just to name two of the things that can happen if this goes un treated.

Due to my limited diet due to this disease and my body not absorbing the nutrients in the food i eat properly, this is my constant battle. Battle against malnutrition, dehydration and the side effects of them like dangerous drops in my levels.

My only hope is that God heal my stomach/body so that I can hold down the medication so I am not faced with having to do the infusions.

What hurts even more is over the past few weeks I've actually had people tell me/write me that i'm pretending to be worse than I am and that i need to stop talking about my condition and asking people to pray for me. And now as I'm preparing for surgery i also find out about this. If I'm pretending then why are the doctors urgently calling me and scheduling test after test and prescribing medications and scheduling surgery!?!? Either I am really this sick or i'm the biggest con artist who ever lived oh and I'm the one footing the bill so really the jokes on me if I am.

So please also pray for the people who have said these awful things to me. And again thank you friends for praying for me, because God is the only one who can heal me, and your prayers I know make a difference.

28 March

This version of the song Safe And Sound is my go to song right now on days like today. I lay in bed and just wrap my arms around Jeremy Caverley and we hold each other and listen to this song and yes, I begin to feel safe and that everything is going to be OK and we hope that tomorrow will be better. And continue to believe God has a purpose in the face of all this adversity.

The movie in the video is "Now Is Good", and it is a really great but sad movie.

● tessa & adam | safe and sound [now is good]

www.youtube.com

WATCH IN HD! :-) Takes hours to make, seconds to comment :-) Hey guys .. this time i vidded for the first time a movie .. it's now is good. i love it sooooo ...

29 March

Rough morning....was woken up out of a dead sleep to up chucking and running to the bathroom. Going to attempt to hold down food and take the potassium tablet.

---Comment in response to how I’m feeling: Yes and No, even after taking one morning stomach Med, eating and forcing down the potassium, then an hour later taking another stomach med, I started dry heaving again and had to be given phenergan to try n stop the nausea. Now I'm sleepy from the phenergan and running to the bathroom with diarrhea (sorry if tmi). However, watching a person doped up and trying to rush to the toilet is kinda funny, I'm laughing at myself so laugh with me. This is why I wasn't forcing the Med down because I can't hardly keep it down. And I still have to take the potassium one more time this evening and at this point I don't know how it is going to go, bed rest, crackers, n water are my companions today. Along with praying God help me to keep it all down.

30 March

Really sick again today from pushing the potassium tablets down me to try n get my level back up. — reading Bible with Jeremy Caverley.

31 March ·

Update on potassium level.....after 2 days of force feeding the potassium and being very very sick from it and bed ridden, my level came up to the lowest a person can be without needing to have an infusion, but today I was unable to take any potassium or I would not have made it to the lab to get the blood test done. 20 bathroom breaks and 6 trips to the upchuck bin in 48 hours and another 7 bathroom breaks today, my bathroom breaks and upchucking has doubled what it normally is on a daily basis just due to crohn's alone.

The doctor realizes I can't keep forcing the potassium down me, but has not come up with a plan yet and is still trying to not do the infusions because it is so dangerous and only wants to do them still as a last resort. Yet tomorrow and the day after my level will once again start to drop and I'll be back in the danger zone once again.

Crazy thing is they actually asked me if I have tried eating bananas and drinking orange juice!?!? If I could eat and drink that stuff I wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe it was just one of those dumb questions they have to ask, but really!?!?

I'm not going to pretend I'm not scared, because I am but I know at the same time God is in control and I'm continuing to trust in him and lean on my hubby Jeremy Caverley who is doing an amazing job taking care of me through all this. And I also need to give a big shout out to my Dad, he stayed the whole day with me and even watched the movie Frozen with me. — feeling scared.

2 April

Today will be spent looking for a new doctor.....again. Got thrown under the bus by one of the doctors who has been caring for me even before I was diagnosed with Crohns and certain health problems that a GI doctor nor a surgeon can take care of. Family and friends are at a loss for words as to why I'm being treated this way, and so my Grandma and I will be on the phone most of the day today calling doctors to see if we can find one, that will take me under their care, and also calling my specialists to see what they can come up with as a care plan/preventive plan for these certain medical problems I'm continuing to face.

Because as of yesterday, this doctor told me to stop taking all medication that he prescribed and go back to my GI doctor because he isn't going to be handling these problems. Even though these "problems" are high blood pressure and high heart rate, which I have had problems with even before I was diagnosed with crohns and have been on medication for over 2 years and now I have no doctor to monitor this.

So let us pray my blood pressure returns to a normal level and also my heart rate, and that my potassium doesn't drop even one point because I don't have anyone to monitor these conditions until I can find a new doctor. — feeling beaten.

2 April

Prayer Request: Today prayer warrior friends, I want to ask you to pray for my husband Jeremy Caverley. He is literally at the end of his rope dealing with this disease that I continue to fight and also the fight we are having with the way one doctor and the nurses are treating me.

My husband literally cried for 30 minutes last night, and even questioned how he is suppose to continue to watch me go through this and go to work at the same time. I am very concerned that if something doesn't give to the lighten the stress and strain, that he may have a nervous break down.

Over the past 6 days Jeremy has broken down numerous times. And I just keep praying God help him to deal with the stress and chaos we are facing. Because I don't know what else to do. — feeling lost.

8 April

There's nothing better than watching a Disney movie when you are feeling yucky. — watching Bambi.

8 April

Heading to OSU East outpatient clinic next Tuesday morning....Surgeon has scheduled more pre operation testing for me to make sure my levels n everything are OK for him to do the surgery on the 25th. My mom is taking me, and luckily I don't have to do any preps or fasting.

Jeremy Caverley Wrote and tagged me

8 April

Sometimes you can't save people from pain, you have to go through it with them... — with Miranda Caverley.

9 April

I'm still here and i'm alive, i'm not ok, but i'm continuing to fight, for those that have been worried. — feeling beaten.

11 April

Very very sick today, at my grandma's stuck in bed. but this little kitty Miss Lily is always by my side when I'm here stuck in bed. She loves on me and keeps me company. I love this kitty 

Now you understand why I couldn't try and re-write and re-live all this over again.   It's absolutely heartbreaking and unbearable at times.  I still have not found a new Primary Care Doctor but my Grandmother and I are going to be calling more places this week. Our hope is to find a doctor who knows what Crohns disease is and can handle treating the side effects the disease and also medications at times can cause that the GI doctor can't take care of.

Overcoming Trials on Valentines Day and our 7th Anniversary

On Valentines Day Jeremy and I celebrated our 7th anniversary, of the day Jeremy flew from California to Ohio to meet me face to face after 3 months of talking through the internet, video chat and telephone while he served in the U.S Coast Guard.

 7 years we have made it and we are still in love and even more so than that day I saw him standing in the terminal waiting for me to pick him up, and I walked up to him and kissed him for the very first time and knew immediately....this was the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. 

Though at the time we didn't know what we were to endure to be together. Every step of our relationship has been a battle against forces beyond our control. Yet we have persevered.  Valentines day this year was the worst anniversary day we've ever had, so far in our life together.  I will not go into much detail, but on that day last Friday we had an emergency hit us and it was nothing we could stop.  Due to this emergency I was forced to cancel my upcoming surgery at OSU East with my colon/rectal surgeon, which I desperately need because I'm in such agony with the condition this disease has caused.

But there was nothing that could be helped to change it, and we even had to ask for help from my family to get us through and we still do not know if this calamity is over with yet.  

As soon as this "emergency" has been taken care of and is over, I will be rescheduling my surgery and the other heart test I need to make sure my heart is healthy enough to go through with being put under anesthesia.

On top of all this, due to the constant acid reflux/gerd/vomiting I have been been fighting for nearly 7 years now.  I have gotten laryngitis and have not had a voice in over 4 weeks now.  I went to a throat specialist and he sadly told me there was nothing he could do because until the GI doctor gets my stomach condition under control my throat will continue to be irritated. But amazingly enough the doctor was surprised to see that when he put the snake cam down through my nose and into my throat, that my vocal cords have ZERO damage to them after nearly 7 years of the acid/bile eating at my throat!  That to me is a miracle from God, because he has preserved my voice in the face of this disease/condition, so I can sing again once I get better.

Through all that I have been through God has continued to preserve my gifts/talents.  I can still sing, I can still play drums (when I have the strength), and I can still play piano and write and learn beautiful music.  Even though I cannot use them the way I desire to, playing in church and traveling playing for special events around ohio like I use to do.  From the age of 15 when I first began playing drums professionally in church, all my gifts I have given to God and made a covenant with him that I would always use my gifts to Bring Glory to Him and not myself.  For with out God I could never have learned to play the instruments I do and sing as I do without Him.  For I was never trained or given lessons on anything I play.  I taught myself and God blessed me with the knowledge.  Jeremy calls me a prodigy because he doesn't understand how I can sit down at the piano and just by listening to a piece of music, I can figure out how to play it within minutes!  No sheet music no nothing just listening.  My mother says that God made me very special and she has no idea how I do it either. 

Even though no one can hear me, I still continue to play and practice my instruments when I have the strength and as soon as I can get my voice back I'll continue to practice my vocal exercises and sing. 

As a gift to Jeremy for valentines day I learned a beautiful piece of Music Called "Two of Us" Written by the famous Japanese Composer Joe Hisaishi.  It is one of my favorite pieces I have EVER Learned and truly allows you to feel the Love Jeremy and I have for one another. 

Link To Valentines Day Video: A Song For Jeremy
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151851743210286&l=5038259699561550152

Trusting God To Provide Part 2

As in my previous post I said I had some other things to share.

Part 2 is about what happened at my appointment with the colon/rectal surgeon appointment I had nearly a month ago.

The surgeon could not even do an examination of my bottom because he discovered I have 2 fissures in my rectum. Fissures are tears or open wounds on the colon/rectum and are extremely painful. And in my condition they are not going to get better says my gi doctor so I am to call the surgeon back after Christmas and make another appointment for another examination, but this time the gi doc wants the surgeon to put me under anesthesia so he can do a full examination and see what all is going on and if I may need surgery to heal these fissures and hemorrhoids.

My body is literally starting to fall apart due to have diarrhea and vomiting every day for the past 6 years straight.

The surgeon also said he believes I have another disease/condition besides crohns disease that is causing such extreme symptoms and problems. But they really don't know what that disease/condition is.

So we just have to keep leaning on The Lord and have faith that he will provide. Provide the doctors with the knowledge and answers to help me.

So now I have got everything out and I feel better for writing it and not keeping all this bottled up inside and sitting here worrying and not talking about it.

One day at a time is how I deal with everything. Make it through today and hope for a better tomorrow.

Trusting God To Provide

Since my last update just over a month ago, we've had some new developments.

First, I got a letter from Medicare/govt. Run health insurance that I no longer qualify for any kind of help to pay for the crohn's medication I'm currently on, because my husband now has a job since graduating from college. So to stay on my current medication I need to come up with nearly 700 dollars every 2 months to pay for the medication, and if I would go on a different medication it will be even more expensive and I still will not get any help. In the past year to help pay for the nearly 700 dollar copay every 2 months I got help through my health insurance and also a non profit organization. But both go by how much your income is and they also don't take into effect how many bills you have to pay each month either, and due to this life long disease we are so much in debt to medical bills, even with insurance that we have no money to save or to even help pay on the copay for the crohn's medication. 

I talked to my doctor and they have done everything they can to get me help and literally between the doctors office and me making calls myself to numerous charity organizations and even to the crohn's and colitis foundation locally and nationally, there is no help for me. And I also found out that there are many people in my same situation, they have health insurance but it doesn't cover enough to make the medications we desperately need affordable to us.

So as of January first I will no longer be on any medication to fight this disease. And the only medication that is affordable to me is a Med that I have already tried and hasn't worked, but it is the only thing we have to try if my health starts to deteriorate more than what it already has. We have to pray that some way some how the govt. Will change their ruling on giving people assistance for these extremely expensive meds and give people like me help. Pray that God heals me, and that doctors and scientists find a cure for this disease. Because no matter how rich you are no one can afford to pay out this much for medication for the rest of their lives.

There is also more bad news but I will save that for another day. It may seem everything is out of control, but I know God has it all under control and he will make a way for me and take care of me.

I'm Still Here And I'm Still Fighting

It's been just over a month since my last post.  So it's time to make a new update. 

Made it through Halloween without wanting to strangle someone with all the candy and food around that I can't eat. 

And to combat the depression that sometimes can come with celebrating Holidays that I can't partake in Jeremy and I had a Wizard Of Oz party last month!  We had family come over and had a wonderful time watching the 75th Anniversary Edition of the Wizard Of Oz along with a few Halloween show favorites like "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" And "Garfield's Halloween Adventure"

Me In my Oswald The Lucky Rabbit Hat At The Party

A Big thanks to Jeremy for being the best host EVER. I was able to just sit and not stress or strain my body anymore than it was and I was able to enjoy having my family with me in my home all together for the first time. 

And Thanks To the new medicine the doctor put me on to help with my stomach spasms and intestinal spasms.  I have not been throwing up as much.  Instead of throwing up every other day.  I'm throwing up at the most 2 times for the whole week!!! And I don't dry heave like I use to constantly, I do that a few times a week now instead of daily.  But my other symptoms are still not under control, the daily running to the bathroom 6-10 times a day has not let up, the severe intestinal pains that double me over and lay me up in bed, and there are still days during the week I'm stuck in bed either due to side effects of the medicines or because of Crohn's Disease its self. 

Yesterday I had to break down and actually take a pain pill for the first time in over 4 months! For some reason that even the doctors don't know I continue to have severe intestinal pains, and yesterday was the worst I've had in 4 months.  For 24 hours I was in Constant out of control pain with no relief.  And by yesterday morning I was at the end of myself.  So I took to facebook and asked my friends to pray for me that God would ease my pain.  I spent majority of the day in bed in a fetal position, taking pain pills, and watching cartoons, because we all know watching cartoons when you're really sick always helps, or so I think. 

My friends started writing that they were praying for me and I truly believe in the power of prayer.  Because whenever I ask people to pray for me that God ease my suffering.  God always listens and my pain did subside enough to where it was bearable, and when Jeremy came home at 7p.m. last night from work I was able to be up out of bed and enjoy the evening with him.  And my pain level was manageable that I went to bed last night and slept the whole night!

And the only problem this morning was I threw up, so I took some medicine to stop the nausea and spasms and haven't had too bad a day I must say.  Even though another symptom decided to pop up this afternoon.  I don't know if it's a side effect from the meds or the disease. But every so often My hands and feet will break out in tiny blisters and after they pop my hands and feet look like I've had a bad sunburn because my skin starts to peel.  It doesn't really hurt it's just weird, then it goes away for a few months and then randomly it will pop up again.  Just like the boils/sores that have been popping up on my torso for over 3 years.  I use aloe vera to treat with and it helps heal it up. 

In 2 weeks from today I will be at Ohio State University East Hospital seeing a surgeon about what needs to be done about these hemorrhoids that this disease has caused and whether I need surgery or treatment to help them.  I'm nervous yes because no one wants to have to go through surgery no matter how minor or severe.  But my good friend and second Mom Dawn is taking me and she always is such a comfort.

But right now unlike the past 2 years I do not have any doctor's appointments until after the holidays and I really hope it stays that way.  And that this body will allow me to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family.  That's what I want for Christmas to be well enough to spend it with my family, oh and for a Cure for Crohn's Disease. 

I guess that is it for now, I will give another update once I've seen the surgeon and we get some more answers as to what we are doing next.  God Bless

3 month Follow up with GI Doctor and Getting Test Results

Yesterday My Mom, and Grandma (my dad's mom) Took me back to OSU to see my GI doctor for my 3 month follow up. And also get the test results from the mostly failed MRI Test I attempted to do 2 weeks ago. 

The GI doctor to break it down and just put the facts in said, that even though I didn't finished the MRI test that they did still get some good pictures, and that I do still have a small amount of active Crohn's Disease where my Small Intestine and Large Intestine meet.  They could also see that due to having Crohn's for so many years that went undiagnosed and treated that alot of my small intestine is scared from Crohn's.  But that they can't seem to still figure out why I keep being sick to my stomach/vomiting, and having such extreme symptoms when the Crohn's is a mild case now.  The only thing they can think (meaning they really don't know and are pulling at strings at this point to think of something) is that I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and my stomach and intestines are constantly going into spasms on top of Crohn's disease.

So the GI doctor didn't take me off Humira injections and added another medication to my ever growing med list. This one is called Bental and it is to help stop the Spasms in my stomach and intestines.

However, I have to share some of the dumb stuff that my doctor said and his associate doctor (student doctor) said to me.....

1st the student doctor commented on the inflammation in my liver, he said that if I would lose weight that my liver would get better.  REALLY! YOU THINK I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED TO LOSE WEIGHT, I MEAN LOOK AT ME!  I told the student doctor that I wold love to lose this weight and if he could tell me how I'm to do that when I can't eat anything but carbs, can't exercise, every day having diarrhea and sometimes vomiting. other days i can't hardly eat anything so I'm constantly switching back and forth from starvation and then I'm on medications that won't let me lose weight.  I told him if he has an answer to how to help me to lose weight I would love to hear it.....He didn't say a word after I said that

2nd the my GI doctor starts asking me about my diet and he asks me if I eat foods with sugar in them.....I eat carbs and breads all the time of course I'm eating foods with sugar in them!!!! I have to drink gatorade sometimes when i'm so sick i can't eat or drink much and to try and get some vitamins i do drink half a glass when I can certains days of apple juice or grape juice.  So yeah sadly i do eat foods with sugars DUH!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I EAT, I TOLD HIM! I can eat crackers and drink water and i throw that up!

Then after the appointment they did more blood work to check my levels and see if I have any infection in my system that i may not be aware of.  And then Grandma, mom and I headed home.....and that's when things got even worse!

On our way home we stopped at Bob Evans Restaurant in South Bloomfield Ohio to eat lunch. After eating lunch Grandma either left her wallet on the table or dropped it out of her bag, we really don't know. And before we even left the restaurant someone in the section we were seated at grabbed the wallet and stole it!  Grandma had gone to the bathroom and I was waiting for her at the exit doors and she said coming out of the bathroom that her purse felt too light and when she looked in it her wallet was gone!  We have an idea of who stole it because there was only 3 people seated in our area of the restaurant.  We called the police, made a report and Grandma in less than 2 hours had her bank card and all credit cards cancelled but the thief or thieves do have her drivers license and also her social security card and some cash! But it was all reported before the thieves could do anything and if they try to sign up for credit cards or use her ss number or anything they will be immediately arrested. 

As if we didn't already have enough to deal with,  this had to happen!!!!  I just felt so sick knowing this happened and in the end it made me sicker being under even more stress. But my mom took me home and her and I spent the rest of the day together listening to old records and drinking exotic tea from Africa. 

WHAT IS TO COME IN THE NEXT MONTH:

There is a very big problem Crohn's has called and it is literally a pain in my Butt! Hemorrhoids!  Due to having constant diarrhea every day for 6 years I have got internal hemorrhoids and they HURT! The GI doctor has referred me to a Rectal/Colon Surgeon to see what he can do to help me and I see him for my first appointment next month Nov. 19th and see if I need to have surgery to remove the hemorrhoids or some type of treatment to help the hemorrhoid/hoids.

And then I go back to the GI doctor in Feb. 2014 so let us hope for this holiday season I can have a good season without stress and can just enjoy the holidays with my family and hubby.

So when I see the surgeon I will post a new blog update and let you know.  But for now this is the end of this blog segment and Chaos and craziness is still trying to tear me down, but Thank God that My God is Greater and He that is in me is great than that, that is in the world

Car Accident's, Bachelor Degrees, and Stress OH MY!

Oh where to begin? Because so much has happened in just  a short time.

But I will start on Friday August 23, 2013 for this blog entry.  That afternoon I receive a call from my husband who was driving home from work.  He calls and tells me he has just been in a 5 car pile-up!  He was sitting at a red light stopped and a big Pickup truck 3 vehicles back driven by a young man who wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and was speeding, slammed into a truck, then that truck was pushed into another truck, and then that truck was pushed into my husband’s car, and then my husband’s car just bumps the car in front of him. 

the damage doesn't look that bad, but when looked at from inside the trunk and underneath it was discovered that the frame of the car was pushed into the truck

The young man was cited for causing the whole accident.  His parents insurance has taken full responsibility for the accident.  Jeremy’s car was a total loss due to the damage of the back of the car.  The Frame of the car was pushed into the truck when looked at from underneath, the car was a total loss.  So to make a long story a little shorter, we came to a deal with the insurance company and was able to purchase and 2010 Hyundai Elantra on Labor Day (Last Monday). 

our new car 

At the time of the accident Jeremy didn't seek medical treatment because he didn't appear to be hurt.  But 2 days later he started having problems with his neck and right leg.  I took him to the chiropractor this past Saturday and it appears Jeremy has whiplash and after the results from his 4 x-rays come in the doctor will be contacting us about a treatment plan.  I thank God it’s no worse than that. 

So we thought this accident was behind us, got a new car, getting treatment for the whiplash everything is good. NOT!!!!! 

After Jeremy’s Chiropractor appointment on Saturday we came home to find a Subpoena in the mail for Jeremy!!!!

Jeremy has to appear in court This Friday 13^th to be a witness for the city of Columbus.  Because the young man who caused this accident decided to fight the ticket he received.  So Jeremy plus the other 3 victims of this 5 car pile-up and along with the officer who took the report for the accident have been subpoenaed to court as well to give their testimonies on what happened the day of the accident. 

So Jeremy has to miss work, and loose wages because of this. And I’m sure the other victims have to miss work and loose wages as well.  It’s just victimizing the victims again.

The Stress Jeremy and I have been is outrageous.  I truly thought Jeremy was going to have a nervous breakdown over the past few weeks.  And I trying to take care of everything because Jeremy is at work all day and can’t be reached nearly ended me up at the Emergency room because I pushed my body so much it was giving out on me, and Crohn’s and Stress nearly took me out.  I literally ran places every day for 2 weeks and when I wasn't out running to get things done so we could get a new vehicle, I was home on the phone from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. nearly every day making or taking phone calls and responding and writing emails to the insurance companies, car dealers, and family. 

And the fact it’s still not over with and now Jeremy has to go to court this Friday is almost too much for me to handle. 

And to top it all off this accident was the 3^rd car accident Jeremy has been in, in less than a year!  The first accident happened on Sept. 5^th and it was my fault, Jeremy was a passenger.  The 2^nd Accident happened exactly 2 months later on Nov. 5^th Jeremy was sitting at a red light stopped and a woman who was drunk and also high on drugs hit him from behind.  The woman was also driving without any insurance.  So she went to jail and we had to pay out of our own pockets to fix Jeremy’s bumper.  Now fast forward to 9 months later and Jeremy is in this 5 car pile-up.

We thought we were going to get a break from catastrophe in our lives because the week of the accident, Jeremy officially graduated college with his Bachelor’s degree in Communications, Made the Dean’s List, and had just started his new job in Black Lick Ohio (an hour drive from our home).   We had our car paid off, were ready to start paying off some of our debt before Jeremy’s loans from college kicked in, in 6 months and if Jeremy’s job hired him on full time permanent we were ready to move to Reynoldsburg, Gahanna, or Black Lick. But now we are in more debt due to having to buy this new car and will be paying on it for the next 4-5 years, so we can’t pay off some of our debt like we wanted to before his loans kick in.  Our vehicle insurance has now taken hike due to us buying a newer vehicle, and now Jeremy will possibly loose a whole day’s wages because he has to go to court this Friday.  And we can’t move closer to Jeremy’s work because rent is 2-3 hundred dollars more a month than what we pay now, and with all these new expenses we just can’t afford it.

Oh and also due to all this stress and strain, Jeremy and I are nearly on the verge of splitting up. Our marriage is literally holding on by a thread at this point, and we are trying to hold it together and lean on God to help us through because only he can help us and heal what has been broken.

Our 6^th Wedding anniversary is coming up on Sept. 22^nd and I just praying we can hold on and make it to our special day. Maybe that will be a day for a miracle.

This is just part of what has happened in less than a month, I will continue this update in my next blog. And luckily it is happy news and I can’t wait to share it with you.