Wednesday, March 22, 2017
didn't i walk on the water performed by Miranda Caverley
My version of the gospel song "Didn't I Walk On The Water"
FREE download of this song
https://www.reverbnation.com/jmcministries/song/27595848-didnt-i-walk-on-water-cover
Sunday, February 19, 2017
I Have Some Bad News I Have To Tell You
I have not made this post until today because I felt I needed to call all my close friends near and far away personally and tell them the latest news I received from my primary care doctor.
I have been on the phone for nearly 2 weeks every day and multiple times a day sharing this news because i didn't feel it was right to just post a cold informal update about my health that is so serious. I felt I owed it to all who have loved me and been in my life over the years watching as i have fought so hard against crohn's disease.
So now the time has come to tell you all and publicly share this, and I am sorry if this causes any of you pain.
On Monday February 6, 2017, My primary care doctor gave me very bad news. He told grandma, Jeremy and I the hard truth of where I am in my fight against crohn's disease.
he said, "my advice is to find a local GI doctor who can monitor Miranda, because at this point there really is nothing else any doctor can do. Miranda is allergice to every treatment out there for crohn's and her only option left is surgery. But, she is not bad enough for surgery. And the Dr.'s will not do a bowel resection until Miranda is in an emergency situation. The first reason is because with crohn's when you remove the place the immune system is attacking in the bowel, the immune system just goes and attacks another part of the bowel and so once they start cutting they really never stop. The second reason is because Crohn's is an auto immune disease which causes miranda's immune system to be constantly compromised and she may not heal properly from the surgery. that is why they wait until patients are in a life and death situation many times.
here is what is going to happen, Miranda will continue to get sicker, and sicker until her bowel becomes permanently blocked from the inflammation and scar tissue building up in her bowels. When that happens and she starts having symptoms of a complete bowel blockage, (he looks at grandma and Jeremy at this point) you must get her to the emergency room as fast as you can before her bowel ruptures or perforates and she dies.
The E.R. docs will run xrays or ct-scans and see she has a permanent blockage and then will take her into emergency surgery and try and save her life."
We were in the my doctor's office for an hour and a half. And he is continuing to try medications to just help my pain and make me as comfortable as he can until I get bad enough for the surgery.
But I am only going to get sicker, there is no better now, and the hope that God allows the surgery to save my life when the time comes.
We know not when this time is coming but it will come and it will be hard and I will have a long road of recovery if I do survive the surgery.
If for some reason God chooses to take me home and healing me that way instead of healing me through the surgery and letting me live on. I am ok with it and at total peace about the whole situation.
But I truly believe that through my suffering God is going to do something amazing with me. I think of how Jesus suffered and died and through his suffering he saved the whole world. Certainly then, God can use my suffering to make a difference no matter who big or small to impact this world.
I am not going to just lie down and die from this bad news. NO! I am going to LIVE and I am going to LIVE and cherish every moment God gives me.
I came close to death 2 times in a 6 month span last year from anaphalaxis reaction to the chemo meds I was on to try and fight the crohn's. I suffered through horrible pain and agony from the reaction. But I LIVED and I will LIVE through this bad news and whatever the future may hold.
The Lord isn't going to take me home until HE is ready for me to come home and I have accomplished my purpose on this earth. So I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. But whenever that day does come, I am ready to go home.
I have been on the phone for nearly 2 weeks every day and multiple times a day sharing this news because i didn't feel it was right to just post a cold informal update about my health that is so serious. I felt I owed it to all who have loved me and been in my life over the years watching as i have fought so hard against crohn's disease.
So now the time has come to tell you all and publicly share this, and I am sorry if this causes any of you pain.
On Monday February 6, 2017, My primary care doctor gave me very bad news. He told grandma, Jeremy and I the hard truth of where I am in my fight against crohn's disease.
he said, "my advice is to find a local GI doctor who can monitor Miranda, because at this point there really is nothing else any doctor can do. Miranda is allergice to every treatment out there for crohn's and her only option left is surgery. But, she is not bad enough for surgery. And the Dr.'s will not do a bowel resection until Miranda is in an emergency situation. The first reason is because with crohn's when you remove the place the immune system is attacking in the bowel, the immune system just goes and attacks another part of the bowel and so once they start cutting they really never stop. The second reason is because Crohn's is an auto immune disease which causes miranda's immune system to be constantly compromised and she may not heal properly from the surgery. that is why they wait until patients are in a life and death situation many times.
here is what is going to happen, Miranda will continue to get sicker, and sicker until her bowel becomes permanently blocked from the inflammation and scar tissue building up in her bowels. When that happens and she starts having symptoms of a complete bowel blockage, (he looks at grandma and Jeremy at this point) you must get her to the emergency room as fast as you can before her bowel ruptures or perforates and she dies.
The E.R. docs will run xrays or ct-scans and see she has a permanent blockage and then will take her into emergency surgery and try and save her life."
We were in the my doctor's office for an hour and a half. And he is continuing to try medications to just help my pain and make me as comfortable as he can until I get bad enough for the surgery.
But I am only going to get sicker, there is no better now, and the hope that God allows the surgery to save my life when the time comes.
We know not when this time is coming but it will come and it will be hard and I will have a long road of recovery if I do survive the surgery.
If for some reason God chooses to take me home and healing me that way instead of healing me through the surgery and letting me live on. I am ok with it and at total peace about the whole situation.
But I truly believe that through my suffering God is going to do something amazing with me. I think of how Jesus suffered and died and through his suffering he saved the whole world. Certainly then, God can use my suffering to make a difference no matter who big or small to impact this world.
I am not going to just lie down and die from this bad news. NO! I am going to LIVE and I am going to LIVE and cherish every moment God gives me.
I came close to death 2 times in a 6 month span last year from anaphalaxis reaction to the chemo meds I was on to try and fight the crohn's. I suffered through horrible pain and agony from the reaction. But I LIVED and I will LIVE through this bad news and whatever the future may hold.
The Lord isn't going to take me home until HE is ready for me to come home and I have accomplished my purpose on this earth. So I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. But whenever that day does come, I am ready to go home.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
what child is this/greensleeves performed by miranda caverley
My rendition of What Child Is This/Greensleeves
Download song for FREE at
https://www.reverbnation.com/jmcministries/song/27062763-what-child-is-thisgreensleeves
JMC Vlog Episode 51: Some things are just too hard to talk about
Update on fight against Crohns disease. Going to a new GI doctor and all I have gone through since my last vlog 7 months ago.
Monday, August 29, 2016
Song From A Secret Garden Performed By Miranda Caverley
My Version of Secret Garden's Song "Song From A Secret Garden"
I dedicate This song to my sister Autumn
Surviving My 2nd Anaphalixis Reaction To Crohn's Meds In 6 Months
The last time i made a post/video I was getting ready to start on Entyvio, because I had had a horrible reaction to Remicade. Well, after having my 4th Entyvio infusion on July 16, 2016 I started having a SEVERE allergic reaction to it. My whole body started swelling up with fluid, and i was in excruciating pain through out my whole body.
I had to be put on an even higher doses of lasix medications than I was on before while going through the reaction to Remicade. I have severe vertigo and have horrible dizzy spells. It's been just over a month since I had the reaction and my reactions symptoms sadly are not really any better. The only symptom that is, is the crushing pain feeling through out my whole body, that has gotten a lot better. The doctors say I literally have to wait for the medication to get out of my system before I will see any improvements in my symptoms. Sadly this can take months, so for now I sit in my house next to my bathroom going to the bathroom about 10 times a day peeing the fluid off my body and also going another 10 times a day because of the Crohn's disease causing diarrhea.
My GI doctor ran blood work and it shows that the Crohn's disease is NOT in remission even though they tried to keep telling me it was after my ct scan results from June came back inconclusive. But I knew better and I know my body. But sadly I am literally at the end of medications the doctor can try to stop this disease from continuing to eat me alive, and surgery looks to be in my future sooner than later.
In the face of all this, my mental health has taken a HUGE hit and I am just not the Miranda everyone knows right now. But every morning I get up and keep trying and keep fighting.
I've even kept up my music, I just recorded a new song I have been working on for months called "Song From A Secret Garden" it is written by the group Secret Garden
It is a beautiful contemporary classical piece and i love playing it, it is so soothing to me.
If you would like to listen to the song and download it for free click on the link below
https://www.reverbnation.com/jmcministries/song/26499036-song-from-secret-garden-cover
With everything going on with me, it has really taken a toll on my husband. I mean I came close to death 2 times in 6 months due to reactions to the meds. I have not been able to go anywhere outside of the house other than to go to doctors appointments in a year!!! A year!!! I have lost an entire YEAR OF MY LIFE!!!!
My husband was laid off from his job 2 months ago because the the contract ended, and he is currently on unemployment looking for work and trying to take care of me all at the same time. the stress is so bad, it has caused my husband to get high blood pressure and he has had to be put on blood pressure medication. His doctor and nurses do believe that his problem is situational and more than likely will be fixed when the stress go down. My husband is healthy and now my disease is causing him to have health problems. The guilt is sometimes unbearable, and I feel at times I am ruining the lives of everyone around me. But in reality it is the disease and I don't have control over what happens to me when it comes to Crohn's.
We are in survival mode, and most anything that has nothing to do with out surviving this season in our lives we just do NOT care about. I have literally said "the world could be burning and I would light a match and throw it on to the fire" I hate being like this but if I don't think this way I'm mentally going to lose it more than I already have.
That's all I can bring myself to write for now. I hope to write again soon or do a video log.
I had to be put on an even higher doses of lasix medications than I was on before while going through the reaction to Remicade. I have severe vertigo and have horrible dizzy spells. It's been just over a month since I had the reaction and my reactions symptoms sadly are not really any better. The only symptom that is, is the crushing pain feeling through out my whole body, that has gotten a lot better. The doctors say I literally have to wait for the medication to get out of my system before I will see any improvements in my symptoms. Sadly this can take months, so for now I sit in my house next to my bathroom going to the bathroom about 10 times a day peeing the fluid off my body and also going another 10 times a day because of the Crohn's disease causing diarrhea.
My GI doctor ran blood work and it shows that the Crohn's disease is NOT in remission even though they tried to keep telling me it was after my ct scan results from June came back inconclusive. But I knew better and I know my body. But sadly I am literally at the end of medications the doctor can try to stop this disease from continuing to eat me alive, and surgery looks to be in my future sooner than later.
In the face of all this, my mental health has taken a HUGE hit and I am just not the Miranda everyone knows right now. But every morning I get up and keep trying and keep fighting.
I've even kept up my music, I just recorded a new song I have been working on for months called "Song From A Secret Garden" it is written by the group Secret Garden
It is a beautiful contemporary classical piece and i love playing it, it is so soothing to me.
If you would like to listen to the song and download it for free click on the link below
https://www.reverbnation.com/jmcministries/song/26499036-song-from-secret-garden-cover
With everything going on with me, it has really taken a toll on my husband. I mean I came close to death 2 times in 6 months due to reactions to the meds. I have not been able to go anywhere outside of the house other than to go to doctors appointments in a year!!! A year!!! I have lost an entire YEAR OF MY LIFE!!!!
My husband was laid off from his job 2 months ago because the the contract ended, and he is currently on unemployment looking for work and trying to take care of me all at the same time. the stress is so bad, it has caused my husband to get high blood pressure and he has had to be put on blood pressure medication. His doctor and nurses do believe that his problem is situational and more than likely will be fixed when the stress go down. My husband is healthy and now my disease is causing him to have health problems. The guilt is sometimes unbearable, and I feel at times I am ruining the lives of everyone around me. But in reality it is the disease and I don't have control over what happens to me when it comes to Crohn's.
We are in survival mode, and most anything that has nothing to do with out surviving this season in our lives we just do NOT care about. I have literally said "the world could be burning and I would light a match and throw it on to the fire" I hate being like this but if I don't think this way I'm mentally going to lose it more than I already have.
That's all I can bring myself to write for now. I hope to write again soon or do a video log.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
JMC Blog Episode 50 Entyvio Infusions and Crohns disease
Started entyvio infusions yesterday to try and get this crohns disease under control. This is my 9th med change in 4 years
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