JMC Vlog Episode 41: Facing My First Real Bad Day Since Surgery

Accomplished some more things on my "Living List" On Saturday, But then Sunday and Monday Crohn's Kicked my butt literally.



I share about being bedridden and while in bed chatting with my friend Virginia who has Leukemia and is in the hospital after her body began retaining fluid and the fluid is now in her lungs.

Making Choices And Sacrifices To Be Able Live And Love Like A Normal Person

Today, I was faced with a very big dilemma today because there were 2 things I really wanted to do, but knew my body could only handle one. One was, doing nothing all day but rest so I could go to church this evening and be with my family and church family worshiping God. Or two, wear my self completely out to make a cherished memory with my husband doing something I have not been able to do in 5 years.

I chose number two....

Now some may think that was wrong to choose number two, but I have been to church more times in the past 5 years and even in the past 2 weeks, than I have gotten to do this one activity with my husband in 5 years. And because I chose number two and surprised my hubby by this choice, he was brought to tears because he knows the sacrifice I gave just to make another cherished moment/memory that made him and i happy.

Yes I must nurture my relationship with God, but I also must nurture my marriage that has been put through literal hell and has nearly fallen apart if it were not for mine and Jeremy's fighting spirit and faith that God has a purpose and plan for our marriage. I must nurture and care for what God has also given me. That is why I chose number 2.

Now Tonight lying in bed, I am paying dearly for my choice.  The intestinal pain is the worst it has been in 3 weeks and I've had to take 2 pain pills in 4 hours and also an anti nausea med as well.  Jeremy feels guilty seeing me in so much pain because I chose number two.  But the pain is all worth it just to see him smile and happy, and I cherish that moment that I felt fully alive and normal again. Even if it was short lived, but all that matters now is that.....I LIVED and when I have another good day I'll Live it again to its fullest.  

Many chronically ill and terminally ill people make what they call bucket lists (things they want to do whie they are still healthy enough to do them).....But I don't believe in bucket lists per say.  I believe in "LIVING LISTS". Because these things on this list are what you do when you are living and not being sick or dying at the moment, and you can only do them if you are truly fighting to LIVE and not Just Survive this life we have been given.  My list grows weekly as I mark off things I have been able to live and experience finally again.

Choices and Sacrifices sometimes have to be made so we can live, but in the end they are well worth the pain and the tears we may go through just so we can say another day.....I LIVED and didn't just survive! 

JMC Vlog Episode 40: Recovered From Surgery And Feel Great

My First Vlog In Nearly A Year!
Since Jeremy's Vlog Update 2 weeks ago, I have gotten so much better from the surgery I had on April 25, 2014 to repair damage to my colon/rectum due to Crohn's Disease.

It's been a long 7 years of suffering but finally I am getting a break and being able to live again some what.

Happy 33rd Birthday Miranda...It's The Best One You've Had In Years!

Tuesday May 27, 2014 the day before my birthday, I went to my follow up with the Rectal/Colon Surgeon.  

The surgeon walks in, asks me how I am doing and I tell him that I'm doing so much better, that I've been more active in the past 4 days than I have in nearly 3 years!!! He actually got a little emotional because he told me, "I struggled a lot with myself on whether I should do the surgery because with your disease, there was no guarantee that the surgery would even help. I'm glad I did it now seeing how much better you are." He then examined me and said everything looks great, and told me that I didn't need to come back and see him unless I started having problems again.

I then asked my surgeon if I could give him a hug, he said yes. I hugged this little man who is the same height as me and cried tears of joy and thanked him and said, "thank you, you gave me part of my life back after 3 years of suffering. This is the best birthday present ever." The surgeon and his nurse got a little teary eyed.

Nearly 7 yrs. of suffering and now half of my problems have been fixed, now to get my stomach/intestines under control.

But I know for a fact My God is more powerful and able, even when the doctor doubts and says there is no guarantee that I will get better, I say there is a guarantee, because with Christ all things are possible, and my recovery is proof of that.

And today May 28, 2014 already is the best birthday I've had since I got sick back in 2007. I got to enjoy the day and actually enjoy the food, had energy and just got to enjoy living instead of just surviving! Oh and my voice is finally coming back after 5 weeks of fighting laryngitis!!!

This past week/weekend this is what I got to do because I felt so good.... Friday, I went out to eat at a restaurant with my grandparents and even went and got an ice cream cone after and walked to the ice cream shop!! Saturday, I help my hubby clean up the patio, go grocery shopping and helped him grill out.  Sunday, I got to go to church for the first time in over 6 months and my hubby got to sing and play his guitar for the church.  Monday, Memorial day my hubby and I slept in and then we relaxed on the patio and grilled out again.  That may not be a lot for an average person, but for me I hadn't been able to do this much in one weekend, in nearly 3 years!

This coming weekend will also be great, my husband is taking a 4 day weekend and we are (fingers crossed this good health keeps up) heading to one of the many lakes in our area to fish and maybe even swim and lay out on the beach and get some sun.  Haven't ever gone fishing since we have been married and have only been to a lake 2 times in our 7 years together. 

My Birthday Gifts from friends and Family for my 3rd B-Day

My Awesome Cake Jeremy Got Me For My Birthday

Jeremy got me The 6th Oz book That Marvel has made into Comic book form

My Friend Dawn Made this Wizard Of Oz Blanket For me

My Mom Got me this Twilight Series Collectables

 2 baskets of petunias, and 2 baskets of Geraniums/Ivy from my Grandma 

JMC VLOG Episode 39: An Update After a Long Hiatus

Topics discussed:

Return, Jeremy graduating college 2013 , Jeremy starting new contract job after college 2013 , Jeremy starts permanent job in March 2014, caregiver roles with Miranda's ailing health with Crohn's disease, Miranda's recent colon-rectal surgery.

Recovering From Colon/Rectal Surgery Due To Crohn's Disease

I'm writing this lying in my bed resting as I continue to recover from the rectal/colon surgery I had 2 weeks ago yesterday, on April 25 2014 at OSU East hospital in Columbus Ohio.

This surgery was my first official major surgery needed due to the crohn's disease. After 7 years of daily diahrea up to 10 times a day, the surgeon discovered I had 2 internal hemroids as well as fissure (tears in my colon/rectum) as well as a large skin tag (similar to a mole) on the inside of my colon/rectum. These things were causing me so much pain, to the point I literally could not sit down on my bottom and was in constant agonizing pain. So the hemroids n the skin tag were removed. And hopefully the fissures can heal on their own by getting the diarrhea/too many bowel movements, under control and brought down to a minimum.

Since the surgery however, I've had 2 slight set backs. After my surgery I stopped having bowel movements and became impacted in my bowels. On the 3rd day after the surgery and pushing an extreme amount of laxatives, my bowels finally moved, and it was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life to the point my grandma thought I was going to collapse on the floor when everything did break lose. She literally had to help hold me up on the toilet while my bowels moved. And I have gotten laryngitis again due to the anesthesia and my allergies and the fact my throat is so sensitive. I will more than likely be without a voice for 4 to 6 weeks again.

However, This week Wednesday night into Thursday, I became impacted again even though I was continuing to push the extreme amount of laxatives. After 12 hours of administering 3 enemas over that amount of time, Jeremy my husband finally got my bowels to move. Jeremy had to take an emergency day off work because I was so bad. We were very afraid we might have had to take me to the E.R if he hadn't gotten my bowels to move. What we have realized is that I'm not constipated, but that due to my colon/rectum being so inflamed from the surgery no solid stool even soft can get through so it starts piling up on top of the other until it's this mass. So I have to have complete lose stool until I fully recover. Meaning I'm on only soft foods and high fiber foods along with taking up to 12 tbsp.'s a day of laxatives and a dose of metamucil in a glass of water. That seems to work so far.

Then yesterday the scariest thing happened to me, something crohn's patients can have happen but I had never experienced before. Jeremy got up at 5 a.m. to get ready for work and was in the bathroom getting ready. I was in bed and felt I needed to have a b.m. so I went in sat down on the toilet, I pushed just a little to get the little bit of solid poo to come out. It did, and I stood up to wipe and when I did n looked in the toilet there was lots of red blood and some was on the toilet seat and I began to feel something running down the back of my leg...it was blood and quite a bit coming from my rectum. Jeremy nearly starts yelling and we both are scared to death. I sit back down on the toilet as jeremy calls my grandma, she answers the phone and if the bleeding doesn't stop in the next few minutes we've got to get me to the E.R. Luckily the bleeding only lasted 5 minutes. 

After consulting with my surgeons nurse they believe I tore my rectum/colon causing a new fissure when I did that little push to get the poo out. And that i've got to make sure I don't have any solid b.m.'s for at least another 4 weeks.

Thankfully I've had no more bleeding like that today. And I pray I never do again, my poor jeremy was so terrified, I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw the blood coming out of me. I'm crying right now just thinking about it.

Jeremy told me that this surgery n recovery along with fighting the disease at the same time, has been the hardest thing we have faced so far in our life together. For him, it has nearly broke him emotionally and mentally watching me go through all this, taking care of me and going to work 5 days a week all at the same time. But we just keep fighting because to us giving up is not an option. We just take everything one day at a time, and let God lead us.

I'm going to end here for now and will make another update in a day or 2.

Facing The Most Scary and Trying Time So Far In My Fight Yet

So much has happened in my and my husband’s life over the past month, that I just cannot write it all in one blog post.  And just to think about writing it down makes me so emotional that I just start to cry. So To allow you to know I will share my facebook updates from that past few weeks.  And then I will write a separate blog about tomorrow, as my mom takes me to OSU East Hospital for more Pre Op Testing. And also write about the results of my pre op testing and surgery when they come in.

Facebook Timeline Updates From Past To Present

7 March

Big celebration happening tonight in the caverley home. I'm not allowed to tell, but my hubby will be making a BIG announcement soon, and I will share all when he does. But for now splurging on some Ben and Jerry's ice cream for dessert and taking my honey out for dinner. — feeling proud.

9 March

This is the big announcement: My husband starts his new job tomorrow as a data analysis at McGraw hill education in blacklick Ohio. We hope to move closer to his job in the next 7 months. So, goodbye chillicothe, after 33 years of living here I'm ready for a new adventure and a change of scenery.

14 March

My husband just finished his first full week at his new job. So proud of him. Lasagna, garlic bread and pie for dinner to celebrate national pi day. Because I married a geek — with Jeremy Caverley.

27 March

At grandma's for the night, then heading to the hospital in the morning to have blood work done, and a echo cardiogram and if everything comes back normal, I'm cleared for surgery at the end of next month. Asking for continued prayers as I continue to fight this disease and against all the side effects that it continues to cause. — feeling ready.

28 March

Urgent prayer request: after 2 hours of having my blood work done, the doctor's office was calling me to inform me that my potassium level was dangerously low. The sad news is I'm already on potassium prescription strength pills and still my level is low. I told the nurse I wasn't surprised because of all the vomiting and diarrhea I continue to have and that there are days I can't hold the medication down especially the potassium Med because it is very hard on the stomach and can cause vomiting n diarrhea by itself.

So the nurse talked to the doctor and there are only 2 choices left for me and the last one I really don't want to have to do. The first option which we are trying is another form of potassium in tablet form that dissolves in water like alka seltzer tablets and I drink this 2 times a day, but if I continue to vomit and not be able to get my level up then we are faced with the last option. If I can't get this under control by pills, then I will have to have potassium infusions. Meaning, once a week at the least I will have to go to the hospital be hooked up to iv's and a heart monitor and have the potassium put into me that way either until the doctors can get my condition under control or possibly for the rest of my life.

This is a very serious situation I'm constantly fighting against because if my potassium level drops too low I can go into cardiac arrest and die. And or my kidneys can shut down just to name two of the things that can happen if this goes un treated.

Due to my limited diet due to this disease and my body not absorbing the nutrients in the food i eat properly, this is my constant battle. Battle against malnutrition, dehydration and the side effects of them like dangerous drops in my levels.

My only hope is that God heal my stomach/body so that I can hold down the medication so I am not faced with having to do the infusions.

What hurts even more is over the past few weeks I've actually had people tell me/write me that i'm pretending to be worse than I am and that i need to stop talking about my condition and asking people to pray for me. And now as I'm preparing for surgery i also find out about this. If I'm pretending then why are the doctors urgently calling me and scheduling test after test and prescribing medications and scheduling surgery!?!? Either I am really this sick or i'm the biggest con artist who ever lived oh and I'm the one footing the bill so really the jokes on me if I am.

So please also pray for the people who have said these awful things to me. And again thank you friends for praying for me, because God is the only one who can heal me, and your prayers I know make a difference.

28 March

This version of the song Safe And Sound is my go to song right now on days like today. I lay in bed and just wrap my arms around Jeremy Caverley and we hold each other and listen to this song and yes, I begin to feel safe and that everything is going to be OK and we hope that tomorrow will be better. And continue to believe God has a purpose in the face of all this adversity.

The movie in the video is "Now Is Good", and it is a really great but sad movie.

● tessa & adam | safe and sound [now is good]

www.youtube.com

WATCH IN HD! :-) Takes hours to make, seconds to comment :-) Hey guys .. this time i vidded for the first time a movie .. it's now is good. i love it sooooo ...

29 March

Rough morning....was woken up out of a dead sleep to up chucking and running to the bathroom. Going to attempt to hold down food and take the potassium tablet.

---Comment in response to how I’m feeling: Yes and No, even after taking one morning stomach Med, eating and forcing down the potassium, then an hour later taking another stomach med, I started dry heaving again and had to be given phenergan to try n stop the nausea. Now I'm sleepy from the phenergan and running to the bathroom with diarrhea (sorry if tmi). However, watching a person doped up and trying to rush to the toilet is kinda funny, I'm laughing at myself so laugh with me. This is why I wasn't forcing the Med down because I can't hardly keep it down. And I still have to take the potassium one more time this evening and at this point I don't know how it is going to go, bed rest, crackers, n water are my companions today. Along with praying God help me to keep it all down.

30 March

Really sick again today from pushing the potassium tablets down me to try n get my level back up. — reading Bible with Jeremy Caverley.

31 March ·

Update on potassium level.....after 2 days of force feeding the potassium and being very very sick from it and bed ridden, my level came up to the lowest a person can be without needing to have an infusion, but today I was unable to take any potassium or I would not have made it to the lab to get the blood test done. 20 bathroom breaks and 6 trips to the upchuck bin in 48 hours and another 7 bathroom breaks today, my bathroom breaks and upchucking has doubled what it normally is on a daily basis just due to crohn's alone.

The doctor realizes I can't keep forcing the potassium down me, but has not come up with a plan yet and is still trying to not do the infusions because it is so dangerous and only wants to do them still as a last resort. Yet tomorrow and the day after my level will once again start to drop and I'll be back in the danger zone once again.

Crazy thing is they actually asked me if I have tried eating bananas and drinking orange juice!?!? If I could eat and drink that stuff I wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe it was just one of those dumb questions they have to ask, but really!?!?

I'm not going to pretend I'm not scared, because I am but I know at the same time God is in control and I'm continuing to trust in him and lean on my hubby Jeremy Caverley who is doing an amazing job taking care of me through all this. And I also need to give a big shout out to my Dad, he stayed the whole day with me and even watched the movie Frozen with me. — feeling scared.

2 April

Today will be spent looking for a new doctor.....again. Got thrown under the bus by one of the doctors who has been caring for me even before I was diagnosed with Crohns and certain health problems that a GI doctor nor a surgeon can take care of. Family and friends are at a loss for words as to why I'm being treated this way, and so my Grandma and I will be on the phone most of the day today calling doctors to see if we can find one, that will take me under their care, and also calling my specialists to see what they can come up with as a care plan/preventive plan for these certain medical problems I'm continuing to face.

Because as of yesterday, this doctor told me to stop taking all medication that he prescribed and go back to my GI doctor because he isn't going to be handling these problems. Even though these "problems" are high blood pressure and high heart rate, which I have had problems with even before I was diagnosed with crohns and have been on medication for over 2 years and now I have no doctor to monitor this.

So let us pray my blood pressure returns to a normal level and also my heart rate, and that my potassium doesn't drop even one point because I don't have anyone to monitor these conditions until I can find a new doctor. — feeling beaten.

2 April

Prayer Request: Today prayer warrior friends, I want to ask you to pray for my husband Jeremy Caverley. He is literally at the end of his rope dealing with this disease that I continue to fight and also the fight we are having with the way one doctor and the nurses are treating me.

My husband literally cried for 30 minutes last night, and even questioned how he is suppose to continue to watch me go through this and go to work at the same time. I am very concerned that if something doesn't give to the lighten the stress and strain, that he may have a nervous break down.

Over the past 6 days Jeremy has broken down numerous times. And I just keep praying God help him to deal with the stress and chaos we are facing. Because I don't know what else to do. — feeling lost.

8 April

There's nothing better than watching a Disney movie when you are feeling yucky. — watching Bambi.

8 April

Heading to OSU East outpatient clinic next Tuesday morning....Surgeon has scheduled more pre operation testing for me to make sure my levels n everything are OK for him to do the surgery on the 25th. My mom is taking me, and luckily I don't have to do any preps or fasting.

Jeremy Caverley Wrote and tagged me

8 April

Sometimes you can't save people from pain, you have to go through it with them... — with Miranda Caverley.

9 April

I'm still here and i'm alive, i'm not ok, but i'm continuing to fight, for those that have been worried. — feeling beaten.

11 April

Very very sick today, at my grandma's stuck in bed. but this little kitty Miss Lily is always by my side when I'm here stuck in bed. She loves on me and keeps me company. I love this kitty 

Now you understand why I couldn't try and re-write and re-live all this over again.   It's absolutely heartbreaking and unbearable at times.  I still have not found a new Primary Care Doctor but my Grandmother and I are going to be calling more places this week. Our hope is to find a doctor who knows what Crohns disease is and can handle treating the side effects the disease and also medications at times can cause that the GI doctor can't take care of.