So in my post yesterday I shared about once again fighting with this hospital over another medical bill.
Here is the link so you can read it for yourself and understand just what I go through on a monthly basis with this hospital.
http://www.mirandacwrites.blogspot.com/2013/02/caught-in-middle-once-again.html
Well, that was yesterday what I went through, today I get a phone call from the "cashier" at the hospitals billing department who I talked to yesterday.
She informs me that the Medicare part of their billing dept. FINALLY located the payment from Medicare on this bill I've been fighting over since Dec. 2012.
To make a long story short who ever was dealing with this payment from Medicare for this bill screwed up and sent this payment into the outerspace of their billing dept.'s computer billing system.
So first good news is they have fixed the bill, second good news is I don't owe anything on this bill. The Payment Medicare made covered the entire 598.00 dollar bill.
The Cashier also told me that my 2 other accounts with the hospital are fine and that if I should have anymore problems in the future to call her and not deal with their billing dept.
Praise God, for the little things right? Because I haven't had any good news in months about bills or my health. Nice to have a change.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Caught In The Middle Once Again
I get so tired of being caught in the middle of the fights between Medicare/health insurance companies and Hospitals billing departments.
Jeremy and I have been fighting Since my car accident on Sept. 5, 2012 to get Medicare to pay what was left on my emergency room visit for my accident after my vehicle insurance covered 2,000 dollars of the bill. Which left Medicare with 598.00 to cover 80 percent and leave me to cover the remaining 20 percent.
After months of fighting with Medicare to pay their part, they finally did on Dec. 17, 2012 and electronically paid the 80 percent and left with with a balance of $100.98. However, in december I didn't know this and received a bill from the hospital (which I'm always having troubles with their billing dept.) saying I owed 598.00 dollars and that Medicare has refused to pay on this bill.
So for 2 months I have been fighting between Medicare saying they paid their part, and the hospital billing department saying Medicare hasn't and demanding me pay the bill.
Well today it all came to a head when after being threatened to be turned over to collections by the billing dept. of the hospital if I didn't make a payment on the bill by today.
So here is what all went down.
9a.m. this morning I get up out of bed vomiting and having diarrhea and all while trying to get ready to go out to the hospital to their "billing dept." to talk to someone in person and bring them my papers showing that Medicare says I should only owe 110.98
After vomiting, taking anti nausea/vomiting medicine, having 4 hits of diarrhea, and severe stomach and intestinal pains in just an hour, Jeremy gets me in the car to go to the hospital to try and work all this out. A place I should NOT be going because I'm going to be exposed to so many germs, and illness and could place me in the hospital if I catch something, due to the fact I'm on Humira and my immune system and suppressed and I can't fight off viruses and infections.
So we make it to the hospital and go to the Cashier dept. I tell the woman what is going on and she can't do anything. Luckily her manager had come in right then and help, a little. While waiting and hearing them saying to each other they don't know what is going on with this bill and they can't find the payment from Medicare. I'm getting worried this is another waste of time, and the waiting area is beginning to fill up with people.
After talking to her Manager about my bill the woman comes out to the waiting area to talk to me in front of all the other people there. She tells me that they don't know where the payment from Medicare has gone and all they can do is make a copy of my paper work and resend it to their Medicare billing department which is in another state, yes another state! I ask this woman why in the world they're billing dept. is in another state, and she says, "we've gotten too big" and I thought, "with as many people in our county out of work you mean to tell me you'd rather outsource the billing dept. instead of keeping people in jobs here locally?" is what I wanted to say.
I broke down and cried I was so sick and frustrated that after all these months and coming all the way out to the hospital this still isn't fixed. I tell the woman through my tears that I am fighting with their billing dept. nearly every month over a bill because they keep messing up and then I'm the one who's caught in the middle and threatened with being turned over to collections because they can't get it together. I also tell her about my disease and how it is very dangerous for me to have to come out here to the hospital and be exposed to all the germs and viruses going around with the medication I'm on.
Jeremy told the woman too that he spends some days up to 4 hours on the phone trying to get these bills fixed nearly every month.
And everyone in that waiting room heard it all, one man told me "you get them girl" another elderly man who was a Navy Veteran told Jeremy "that's the way to handle it."
The cashier lady told me, that I shouldn't have to keep fighting like this and that it was wrong that the billing dept. threatened to turn me over to collections if I didn't come in here today and make a payment. A payment she says I don't need to pay until they get this bill fixed.
She also said I shouldn't have to come in here and be exposed to all the germs and viruses with the disease I have and as sick as I am. So she gave me her name and number there at the hospital and told me to call her from now on if I couldn't get anywhere with the billing dept. and she would take care of it, so that I wouldn't have to try and come back out to the hospital again.
After giving me her number and all my paper work back after she made a copy, I asked her "now, can you promise me that I'm not going to get a phone call or a letter in the mail from the billing dept. saying I've been turned over to collections because I'm not making a payment today?" She said "you shouldn't" and with that we left with all the people in the waiting room staring at us and we feeling completely exhausted and apprehensive that they will find the Medicare payment and they won't turn me over to collections.
So now we wait for this hospital to contact us and tell us whether or not they have this bill fixed.
You have to realize we have been fighting with this hospital for 6 years now over their billing dept. we have 3 bills we are paying, and one that is nearly 10,000 dollars and so we will be dealing with this hospitals billing dept. for a long time and this is what we have to look forward too. We will have to keep fighting them every month until we can get these bills paid off and I've told Jeremy if I have a choice in where to go, do not take me to that hospital for anything other than to do blood work. I didn't have a choice with the car accident and other than that my last time being out there was 4 years ago.
I go to another hospital in Columbus for all my other testing and hospital stays just so I don't have to deal with this hospitals billing dept. and getting harassed and placed in the middle.
It isn't enough that I have to fight the diseases that attack my body but I also have to fight for the rest of my life Insurance companies and hospitals over my care and bills. It isn't fair and I wish someone could make it all stop.
Jeremy and I have been fighting Since my car accident on Sept. 5, 2012 to get Medicare to pay what was left on my emergency room visit for my accident after my vehicle insurance covered 2,000 dollars of the bill. Which left Medicare with 598.00 to cover 80 percent and leave me to cover the remaining 20 percent.
After months of fighting with Medicare to pay their part, they finally did on Dec. 17, 2012 and electronically paid the 80 percent and left with with a balance of $100.98. However, in december I didn't know this and received a bill from the hospital (which I'm always having troubles with their billing dept.) saying I owed 598.00 dollars and that Medicare has refused to pay on this bill.
So for 2 months I have been fighting between Medicare saying they paid their part, and the hospital billing department saying Medicare hasn't and demanding me pay the bill.
Well today it all came to a head when after being threatened to be turned over to collections by the billing dept. of the hospital if I didn't make a payment on the bill by today.
So here is what all went down.
9a.m. this morning I get up out of bed vomiting and having diarrhea and all while trying to get ready to go out to the hospital to their "billing dept." to talk to someone in person and bring them my papers showing that Medicare says I should only owe 110.98
After vomiting, taking anti nausea/vomiting medicine, having 4 hits of diarrhea, and severe stomach and intestinal pains in just an hour, Jeremy gets me in the car to go to the hospital to try and work all this out. A place I should NOT be going because I'm going to be exposed to so many germs, and illness and could place me in the hospital if I catch something, due to the fact I'm on Humira and my immune system and suppressed and I can't fight off viruses and infections.
So we make it to the hospital and go to the Cashier dept. I tell the woman what is going on and she can't do anything. Luckily her manager had come in right then and help, a little. While waiting and hearing them saying to each other they don't know what is going on with this bill and they can't find the payment from Medicare. I'm getting worried this is another waste of time, and the waiting area is beginning to fill up with people.
After talking to her Manager about my bill the woman comes out to the waiting area to talk to me in front of all the other people there. She tells me that they don't know where the payment from Medicare has gone and all they can do is make a copy of my paper work and resend it to their Medicare billing department which is in another state, yes another state! I ask this woman why in the world they're billing dept. is in another state, and she says, "we've gotten too big" and I thought, "with as many people in our county out of work you mean to tell me you'd rather outsource the billing dept. instead of keeping people in jobs here locally?" is what I wanted to say.
I broke down and cried I was so sick and frustrated that after all these months and coming all the way out to the hospital this still isn't fixed. I tell the woman through my tears that I am fighting with their billing dept. nearly every month over a bill because they keep messing up and then I'm the one who's caught in the middle and threatened with being turned over to collections because they can't get it together. I also tell her about my disease and how it is very dangerous for me to have to come out here to the hospital and be exposed to all the germs and viruses going around with the medication I'm on.
Jeremy told the woman too that he spends some days up to 4 hours on the phone trying to get these bills fixed nearly every month.
And everyone in that waiting room heard it all, one man told me "you get them girl" another elderly man who was a Navy Veteran told Jeremy "that's the way to handle it."
The cashier lady told me, that I shouldn't have to keep fighting like this and that it was wrong that the billing dept. threatened to turn me over to collections if I didn't come in here today and make a payment. A payment she says I don't need to pay until they get this bill fixed.
She also said I shouldn't have to come in here and be exposed to all the germs and viruses with the disease I have and as sick as I am. So she gave me her name and number there at the hospital and told me to call her from now on if I couldn't get anywhere with the billing dept. and she would take care of it, so that I wouldn't have to try and come back out to the hospital again.
After giving me her number and all my paper work back after she made a copy, I asked her "now, can you promise me that I'm not going to get a phone call or a letter in the mail from the billing dept. saying I've been turned over to collections because I'm not making a payment today?" She said "you shouldn't" and with that we left with all the people in the waiting room staring at us and we feeling completely exhausted and apprehensive that they will find the Medicare payment and they won't turn me over to collections.
So now we wait for this hospital to contact us and tell us whether or not they have this bill fixed.
You have to realize we have been fighting with this hospital for 6 years now over their billing dept. we have 3 bills we are paying, and one that is nearly 10,000 dollars and so we will be dealing with this hospitals billing dept. for a long time and this is what we have to look forward too. We will have to keep fighting them every month until we can get these bills paid off and I've told Jeremy if I have a choice in where to go, do not take me to that hospital for anything other than to do blood work. I didn't have a choice with the car accident and other than that my last time being out there was 4 years ago.
I go to another hospital in Columbus for all my other testing and hospital stays just so I don't have to deal with this hospitals billing dept. and getting harassed and placed in the middle.
It isn't enough that I have to fight the diseases that attack my body but I also have to fight for the rest of my life Insurance companies and hospitals over my care and bills. It isn't fair and I wish someone could make it all stop.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
8 Phone Calls Later And We Finally Got Some Help...Welcome To My Day
After the post I made yesterday, I thought yesterday was the worst day I'd lived through so far with so much bad news coming in from numerous phone calls. But today started off even worse than the whole of yesterday.
At around 10:30 a.m. I received a phone call from my Gastro Doctor's nurse with the worst news imaginable. She tells me that the company Abbott that makes my Humira injections just contacted her and told her that they are refusing to give me assistance on the $656.09 co-pay medicare part D thinks I can afford to pay. The nurse believes the main reason isn't my income why I was denied help, but the fact that I have insurance already and they won't help people who have insurance even if their co-pays are hundreds of dollars. The Co-pay for my Humira Injections are More than the rent I pay for my home!
So the nurse was literally freaking out with me on the phone, she normally has all the answers but she was seriously telling me that she didn't know what we were going to do if we couldn't find help. Because It's Humira or Remicade to help me fight this disease and that is the end of the line on medications and then they start cutting out my intestines. And if you can't afford the meds to help you then what do you do?
The nurse gave me one last number to try, but when I contacted my pharmacy to get the exact amount I would be paying out of pocket they gave me a number to try. Well to make a long story short, that number couldn't help me but sent me back to The Health Well Foundation that I had gotten my previous help for my Humira injections for because they heard that they had gotten new funding in for Crohn's patients, and THEY DID!!!
After 8 phone calls and being on the phone for 4 straight hours (and me sobbing, and praying for God To help me in the background) My husband Jeremy finally got through to the Health Well Foundation and we have been pre approved for a Grant of $2,500.00 for the 2013 year. Because my information is already in the system from my previous Grant with them they believe they can get me help in time for my next Humira Injection in 2 weeks!
The Down Side to this, is that the Grant will NOT cover my Humira injections for the entire year and I will run out of Grant money around July, and then we have no clue how we will get help to cover the $656.09
So now we are playing the waiting Game, Waiting for the papers to get here from the Health Well Foundation so I can fill them out, then mail them back and wait for the news that i can go get my medicine.
In the midst of all this chaos I was still having to run to the bathroom, and fight off nausea and vomiting along with severe chest pains. Which most of all this was more than likely caused by the stress I'm under not to mention the diseases.
I have cried, vomited and had diarrhea so much over the past 24 hours I became dehydrated and had to drink lots of liquids to try and get me re-hydrated. I literally could not drink enough water to satisfy my thirst it was that bad.
How many times a day do I cry out to God for help? So many I can't count, I cry out for him to stop the chaos, to stop the pain and heal my broken body and mind. And at last I got a break for a while with the help through this Grant, but after such a long fight of nearly 2 months trying to get help I'm too broken and weak to celebrate this victory. So if you are reading this celebrate for me, because in my life victories are few and far between and rarely last. But when they come I am so grateful for the peace that comes even if it only lasts a short time.
This day is only 4 hours away from being done, and I am close to having survived another day. And then waiting to see if I will survive the next.
At around 10:30 a.m. I received a phone call from my Gastro Doctor's nurse with the worst news imaginable. She tells me that the company Abbott that makes my Humira injections just contacted her and told her that they are refusing to give me assistance on the $656.09 co-pay medicare part D thinks I can afford to pay. The nurse believes the main reason isn't my income why I was denied help, but the fact that I have insurance already and they won't help people who have insurance even if their co-pays are hundreds of dollars. The Co-pay for my Humira Injections are More than the rent I pay for my home!
So the nurse was literally freaking out with me on the phone, she normally has all the answers but she was seriously telling me that she didn't know what we were going to do if we couldn't find help. Because It's Humira or Remicade to help me fight this disease and that is the end of the line on medications and then they start cutting out my intestines. And if you can't afford the meds to help you then what do you do?
The nurse gave me one last number to try, but when I contacted my pharmacy to get the exact amount I would be paying out of pocket they gave me a number to try. Well to make a long story short, that number couldn't help me but sent me back to The Health Well Foundation that I had gotten my previous help for my Humira injections for because they heard that they had gotten new funding in for Crohn's patients, and THEY DID!!!
After 8 phone calls and being on the phone for 4 straight hours (and me sobbing, and praying for God To help me in the background) My husband Jeremy finally got through to the Health Well Foundation and we have been pre approved for a Grant of $2,500.00 for the 2013 year. Because my information is already in the system from my previous Grant with them they believe they can get me help in time for my next Humira Injection in 2 weeks!
The Down Side to this, is that the Grant will NOT cover my Humira injections for the entire year and I will run out of Grant money around July, and then we have no clue how we will get help to cover the $656.09
So now we are playing the waiting Game, Waiting for the papers to get here from the Health Well Foundation so I can fill them out, then mail them back and wait for the news that i can go get my medicine.
In the midst of all this chaos I was still having to run to the bathroom, and fight off nausea and vomiting along with severe chest pains. Which most of all this was more than likely caused by the stress I'm under not to mention the diseases.
I have cried, vomited and had diarrhea so much over the past 24 hours I became dehydrated and had to drink lots of liquids to try and get me re-hydrated. I literally could not drink enough water to satisfy my thirst it was that bad.
How many times a day do I cry out to God for help? So many I can't count, I cry out for him to stop the chaos, to stop the pain and heal my broken body and mind. And at last I got a break for a while with the help through this Grant, but after such a long fight of nearly 2 months trying to get help I'm too broken and weak to celebrate this victory. So if you are reading this celebrate for me, because in my life victories are few and far between and rarely last. But when they come I am so grateful for the peace that comes even if it only lasts a short time.
This day is only 4 hours away from being done, and I am close to having survived another day. And then waiting to see if I will survive the next.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
"Beautiful, Beautiful" The Song That Got Me Through Today
While Listening to this song today after so many bad things happened between phone calls to Doctors and The State Of Ohio about my disability and dealing with the Crohn's Disease, Gastroparesis and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I felt God wrap his loving arms around me and comfort me while this song played and I just cried. Cried because I was in pain, cried because I was broke and cried because I didn't feel Beautiful because my hair is falling out and I had to cut it off very short.
But in the midst of everything a peace that surpasses all understanding came to me for a short time and allowed me to just breathe and find that peace.
It's Days Like This I Wish God Would Take Me Home To Heaven
Too much bad stuff happened today.
First, I woke up again at 5 a.m. nausea's and throwing up, diarrhea, and stomach pains.
Second, I call the Abbott Company who makes my Humira Injections to see why they haven't contacted me on whether or not they will give me help paying for my injections so I can continue to take Humira and they say I need to call back on Tuesday to see if they are finished reviewing my files. The Bad thing about this is, tomorrow I take my final injection then I have no more and no way to afford any more injections unless Abbott gets off their bums and makes a decision. So I was then told by Abbott to contact my Gastro Doctor and inform them that I will be out of injections tomorrow.
Three, I call my Gastro Doctors nurse and talk to her about the Humira injection problem, as well as about my hair falling out, my non stop nausea and never ending diarrhea and intestinal pain despite being on Humira for 4 months. So the nurse takes down everything going on with me, and then calls me back after she talks to my doctor. My doctor is ordering lots of blood work to be done on me to check my levels again to see if I'm lacking and that is the reason why my hair is falling out, and he is also checking me for Lupus. and I swear if it comes back positive for Lupus I'm begging Jesus to take me home to heaven NOW! I don't need another disease
And Four, I get a phone call from the State of Ohio because they are evaluating me on whether I am still disabled and should continue to receive SSDI. Their problem is that I haven't seen a psychiatrist in over a year for my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression, and they want me to have an appointment with a psychiatrist that they choose to reevaluate me and this psychiatrist will decide whether I am still "disabled" or not.
For those who don't know about my struggle with PTSD I have had this since I was 17 yrs old when first a young man who went to the church I was attending began stalking me and even threatened to bring a gun to church and shoot me in front of everyone as I was playing my drums for a service because I refused to date him. I ended up having my first nervous break down then, and I had to have a restraining order placed against this man which didn't work and he ended up finding me a year later and want to see me. But after that visit and making it known I didn't want to see him he finally left me alone.
Then at 18 yrs old I married a man who I thought loved me, but ended up being a drug addict and alcoholic who beat and raped me off and on for 6 months and held me against my will. Told me if I tried to leave him he would kill me. And only through the grace of God did I get away from that Man with my life, but not my mind.
And after I got away from my ex husband that was when the PTSD symptoms started until finally 4 years ago I had my 2nd nervous break down and finally put a name to what I was dealing with. While finding out I had PTSD I was also dealing with Crohn's Disease and Gastroparesis, which we did NOT know I had at the time and which led to my mental problems and depression even more.
The reason I haven't been seen by any counselor or psychiatrist is because the place I was going to had me on an assistance program for payment, and guess what, they ran out of funds. I received a letter telling me I was NOT allowed to return to the mental health facility for treatment because there were no more funds to help me. So I had no where to go and being so sick with Crohn's and Gastroparesis I wasn't even able to go to an appointment if I tried.
So now this psychiatrist will hold my life in his or her hands and whether I will continue to get help and stay labeled disabled or be told I'm well enough to hold down a job and go back to a normal life just like everyone else. And this scares me to death that someone has this much control over my life. Because the last time someone did have this control they abused me for a year and nearly murdered me. So you can understand my anxiety and fear.
Even though the abuse happened over 10 years ago, in my head it's as if it happened just yesterday especially when I am triggered in to a flashback or have a night terror while sleeping. Like I said my body may have escaped the abuse but my mind didn't and I can only pray that one day I will be healed from this as well.
Reliving beatings and rapes for the rest of your life is not what anyone wants, and to have to fight Crohn's Disease and Gastroparesis on top of it is too much to bare at times.
It's days like this I don't even know how I'm still alive and haven't had a heart attack or stroke from all the stress. I don't wish anything I go through on my worst enemy. I am really broken tonight and just asking God to help me through this day, because I don't know how i'm gonna make it through.
First, I woke up again at 5 a.m. nausea's and throwing up, diarrhea, and stomach pains.
Second, I call the Abbott Company who makes my Humira Injections to see why they haven't contacted me on whether or not they will give me help paying for my injections so I can continue to take Humira and they say I need to call back on Tuesday to see if they are finished reviewing my files. The Bad thing about this is, tomorrow I take my final injection then I have no more and no way to afford any more injections unless Abbott gets off their bums and makes a decision. So I was then told by Abbott to contact my Gastro Doctor and inform them that I will be out of injections tomorrow.
Three, I call my Gastro Doctors nurse and talk to her about the Humira injection problem, as well as about my hair falling out, my non stop nausea and never ending diarrhea and intestinal pain despite being on Humira for 4 months. So the nurse takes down everything going on with me, and then calls me back after she talks to my doctor. My doctor is ordering lots of blood work to be done on me to check my levels again to see if I'm lacking and that is the reason why my hair is falling out, and he is also checking me for Lupus. and I swear if it comes back positive for Lupus I'm begging Jesus to take me home to heaven NOW! I don't need another disease
And Four, I get a phone call from the State of Ohio because they are evaluating me on whether I am still disabled and should continue to receive SSDI. Their problem is that I haven't seen a psychiatrist in over a year for my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression, and they want me to have an appointment with a psychiatrist that they choose to reevaluate me and this psychiatrist will decide whether I am still "disabled" or not.
For those who don't know about my struggle with PTSD I have had this since I was 17 yrs old when first a young man who went to the church I was attending began stalking me and even threatened to bring a gun to church and shoot me in front of everyone as I was playing my drums for a service because I refused to date him. I ended up having my first nervous break down then, and I had to have a restraining order placed against this man which didn't work and he ended up finding me a year later and want to see me. But after that visit and making it known I didn't want to see him he finally left me alone.
Then at 18 yrs old I married a man who I thought loved me, but ended up being a drug addict and alcoholic who beat and raped me off and on for 6 months and held me against my will. Told me if I tried to leave him he would kill me. And only through the grace of God did I get away from that Man with my life, but not my mind.
And after I got away from my ex husband that was when the PTSD symptoms started until finally 4 years ago I had my 2nd nervous break down and finally put a name to what I was dealing with. While finding out I had PTSD I was also dealing with Crohn's Disease and Gastroparesis, which we did NOT know I had at the time and which led to my mental problems and depression even more.
The reason I haven't been seen by any counselor or psychiatrist is because the place I was going to had me on an assistance program for payment, and guess what, they ran out of funds. I received a letter telling me I was NOT allowed to return to the mental health facility for treatment because there were no more funds to help me. So I had no where to go and being so sick with Crohn's and Gastroparesis I wasn't even able to go to an appointment if I tried.
So now this psychiatrist will hold my life in his or her hands and whether I will continue to get help and stay labeled disabled or be told I'm well enough to hold down a job and go back to a normal life just like everyone else. And this scares me to death that someone has this much control over my life. Because the last time someone did have this control they abused me for a year and nearly murdered me. So you can understand my anxiety and fear.
Even though the abuse happened over 10 years ago, in my head it's as if it happened just yesterday especially when I am triggered in to a flashback or have a night terror while sleeping. Like I said my body may have escaped the abuse but my mind didn't and I can only pray that one day I will be healed from this as well.
Reliving beatings and rapes for the rest of your life is not what anyone wants, and to have to fight Crohn's Disease and Gastroparesis on top of it is too much to bare at times.
It's days like this I don't even know how I'm still alive and haven't had a heart attack or stroke from all the stress. I don't wish anything I go through on my worst enemy. I am really broken tonight and just asking God to help me through this day, because I don't know how i'm gonna make it through.
Friday, January 18, 2013
A Visual of My fight With Crohn's Disease
The Song "Death Of Me" By The Christian Rock Band "Red" I feel is a lyrical vision and so is the video of what my fight with Crohn's looks like. If you want to understand my fight then watch this video
Crohn's, It Takes Everything From You And Yet It Demands More
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| My New Hair Cut Thanks To Crohn's Disease |
This is the shortest my hair has been since I was in kindergarten! I didn't cry at the beauty salon until after my hair was cut and i was walking to the car for Jeremy to take me home. My hair was to be completely honest, was the only thing I ever liked about myself and now that is gone too.
No matter if it grows out I'll have to cut it again once it starts to reach my shoulders because that is the length when my hair starts to really fall out. It's as if when my hair start to have some weight to it, it just breaks off in handfuls.
I can't tell you how many balls of hair I've found on the carpet and every time I find one it's scary because you aren't expecting to pick up your hair. Because the balls look like dirt or that someone has spilled something on the carpet but no it's my hair.
To try and help stop this from continuing to happen, Jeremy is going to go get me some Prenatal Vitamins and see if that helps. But for now I'll just have to stick to cutting my hair off every few months.
When I said Crohn's Takes Everything and demands more, here are a few things it has taken away. But then I will share what it hasn't in a hope to still stay positive despite all the negative
Things I can't do
intimacy with my husband
going out in public
going to church
play the drums
Going for long hikes in the woods
Bike Riding
Playing Softball
having people wanting to come visit you (before i was sick i had people come to visit and i would go visit them, but not so much now)
enjoying a meal
getting enough nutrients to feel healthy
waking up in the morning feeling refreshed and awake
getting to places without having to pack a big back pack full of meds, food, water, vomit bags, tissues, hand sanitizer and doctor masks (incase I go into a place where people are coughing alot and are sick then i will have to wear a mask)
Going on Vacation with my husband or loved ones
Going for a drive out in the country
(I could keep going on but i won't, you get the picture)
Things I still can do
Read/Read my bible
spend time with my spouse and enjoy his company
write
crochet
draw
watch movies
take short walks around the house for exercise
play video games with my husband
help my husband do some of the house chores
listen to music
play piano
sing
help my husband with ministry work, when i can
Take bubble baths
If you are wondering has Crohn's effected my mind? Yes it has, it is so easy to be depressed any normal person would be. and I am. But I still continue to fight I get up every day and put on clean clothes brush my hair brush my teeth and clean my self up take my medications and try to make the best of things
I will share this story with you before I end just how quickly I can get sick and not know it is going to happen .
Last night while trying to take a bath, I suddenly got violently sick to my stomach and had not the trash can been sitting next to me I would have thrown up in the bath tub and all over myself. Jeremy had to come running up the stairs when he heard me. Had to help me get out of the tub, dry me off, get me my anti vomiting medicine get me dressed and help me to bed.
Jeremy had been working on homework for college when I suddenly got sick and because of this episode with me and him having to take care of me, he was late turning in a paper for school and was up most of the night watching over me because I was so sick.
This disease doesn't just effect me it effects Jeremy too and at times like last night he broke down and was very upset. To take care of a Crohn's patient you have to have a great deal of love for that person because you deal with some awfully disgusting things at times and it's quite embarrassing to have to have your husband or family members take care of you and see you in this kind of state
Cleaning up vomit, diarrhea and applying creams and ointments to the body parts I can't reach because the disease has created horrible sores on them and the only time you get to go anywhere with your spouse for the day is to take them to doctors appointments, hearing me cry out all day and all night in pain at times with no way to re-leave it, is not what someone signs up for when they get married.
But because Jeremy loves me so much he does these things for me and I don't know what I would do without his help to make it through.
So now you know the dirty truth behind this disease let us fight to find a cure because without God's healing touch all who fight this disease will suffer with it until God decides we have had enough and calls us home.
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