In Remission, But Still Struggling

3 weeks ago I got the results back from my latest blood test to see how good or bad my Crohn's was.....the results showed that my white blood cell count was normal and that I am in remission.

However, due to having Gastroparesis on top of the Crohn's, I continue to struggle daily with stomach pains, nausea, and diarrhea.

Last weekend however, I was well enough to go and help Jeremy as he spoke at the Delivering Hope Rally to raise awareness about homelessness and poverty. We had a table for JMC Ministries and handed out lots of Free stuff. But sadly it seemed many people showed up to criticize and instead of support us. One person took a copy of our Music Demo CD listened to it then came back and told Jeremy that the music was good, but we were not good enough to win American Idol! Then another person came up at the end of the event after Jeremy spoke and shared his testimony of being homeless and how God helped him through and how he and I started JMC Ministries. This person after taking one of our brochures was very critical of us and kept asking questions that were already answered if they had just read the brochure.

These people were suppose to be Christians but acted anything but....some friends of ours who were there helping at our table saw and heard how we were treated and were very upset that people would be that rude....However, I told our friends that after 30 years of abuse like that from people from around this area, I've grown to expect it and that if someone was Not disrespectful or mean when we went to do Ministry in this area i would think something was wrong.

As I have said many times, Jeremy and I don't have to make people look bad...Because they just open their mouths and place their foot in it and makes themselves look bad on their own, they don't need any help from us.

However, I will say that the event was a success despite the mean people, and Jeremy has already been asked to speak at a church in Portsmouth Ohio next month for another event. This one will be about the drug epidemic that has hit our area of Ohio and how Jeremy is helping people with Drug addictions through a facebook group called Straight Forward...To Help Victims Of Pill Addiction.

Just because Satan puts people in your way to attack you and discourage you doesn't mean you stop doing what God has called you to do. We have more people saying that we are doing great work for the Lord than we do saying we are bad people and not good enough to win American Idol.

Now lets come to the present....

Yesterday i could tell something was not right with my body...I was extremely fatigued and tired. I slept most of the day and then last night it hit...

Out of no where I had severe intestinal pains hit me and even went into my back. I was screaming out in pain. jeremy had to get medicine to help stop the pain and got me to bed. But sleep never came.

All night I tossed and turned in my sleep and cried out in pain. Then today the pain has continued even after taking all the medicine I can to help. And every time I go to the bathroom I hurt so bad having a bowel movement I cry.

It seems my Crohn's is not in remission any longer....I have not felt this bad in over a month and have not had pain in my abdomen and intestines either. So today I'm bed ridden, watching Anne Of Green Gables Movies and trying to continue to do Ministry work from the bed.

My prayer is that this is not a full fledged flare up (how many f words was that? Wow) and that it is only a minor one and will not last long. I'm trying to stay calm and not get upset because that can cause the Crohn's to act up more, but it's hard and especially seeing my husband staying up until 5 a.m. in the morning to watch over me praying and begging God to ease my suffering. It just brings me to tears every time...even now as I write this.

I still don't know why I have to suffer, but as Joni Ereckson Tada said about her swimming accident that left her paralized for the rest of her life...."if one person comes to Christ through this accident, then the wheelchair will be worth it all." All i can say is I hope the same for the Crohn's, Gastroparesis and Auto Immune Deficiency Disorder I fight every day.

The 6 Month Wait......Happy Valentines Day

Since I last wrote nearly a Month ago, my health in some ways has improved, and in other ways it has not.

I'm still running to the bathroom 8-10 times a day on a regular basis, still struggling with vomiting at least 2 days a week. However, I do seem to be having a little more energy than I use to have. I'm spending more days out of bed than in bed. I'm not having extreme pain as often, but I'm still having pain nearly every day but it is manageable with my pain meds and also some new bath stuff and pain relieving lotions, and pain patches Jeremy bought me. But there are still days every now and then that the extreme pain hits and I'm in bed all day. But I'm so thankful that those days are much fewer and farther in between.

Yesterday was the first time in 2 years that I was able to a movie theater and see a movie. I did start to get fatigued and my body started to ache but Jeremy just put his arm around me held me and rubbed my shoulders and neck during the movie and it helped. We went and saw the Vow, it was honestly one of the most heart wrenching movies Jeremy and I have ever seen together....The reason? Because it was as if we were watching ourselves every emotion and struggle that couple went through to try and stay together and keep their marriage intact is exactly what Jeremy and I have been going through.

These diseases that have attacked my body have nearly broken the bonds of our relationship and marriage....But they have not succeeded and the only reason is God. Every day we fight to make it through another day, and when we do we just hold on to hope that the next day will be a little better than the day before. That is sometimes the only way we make it through.

On Valentines day Jeremy and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary of the day Jeremy flew from California to ohio to meet me for the first time after we had been talking online and the telephone for 3 months. That day 5 years ago was, magic. The moment I saw Jeremy standing there at the airport I walked up to him and kissed him for the very first time and felt his arms around me, I knew....I knew that this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with even though we had only just met face to face for the first time and we had only known each other for 3 months. He took 2 weeks of leave from the Coast Guard to spend with me, and by the end of those 2 weeks we knew we wanted to be married and spend our lives together. Just a few months later on Sept. 22, 2007 on the last day of summer Jeremy and I were married, and then just 12 days later I was in the hospital sick and that was when our journey with my health problems/diseases began.

Our life together has never been easy if it were I think I would worry myself to death that something was wrong. But here we are 5 years later still together and still in love, though very battled and bruised and at times broken. However, we are still together and we still love each other very much.

I go back to see my family doctor on Feb. 23rd for a follow up from the ultrasound test to check that ovarian cyst and also the doctor visit I had with a gynecologist. Everything shows that this cyst has NOTHING to do with all my symptoms of severe stomach/intestinal pains, vomiting, diarrhea and etc. the doctors and the tests shows that it is the crohns, and gastroparesis that is causing all my problems. And proved that my "former" gastro doctor didn't know what he was doing and that I clearly need a new doctor.

So already my family doctor's office has referred me to see a Gastro doctor at Ohio State University that specializes in Inflammatory bowel diseases. The bad news about this is that I can't get in to see this gastro doctor for 6 months!!! My appointment is in July! I'm praying this doctor is worth half a year wait and all this pain and suffering I'm going through. This will be the 3rd gastro doctor I will see in 4 years! I need a good doctor who is willing to take care of me and not shuffle me around and say "I don't know what is wrong with you" after I've paid them hundreds of dollars. I can't afford another doctor like that, and if I do have another doctor like that I think my husband is going to punch someone in the face.


My family Doctor has also taken over all medications that the "former" gastro doctor had prescribed so I won't have to deal with that gastro doctor again, until I see my new gastro doctor.

Luckily this winter here in Ohio has been very warm and mild so far. We have only had one real snow and we got 2 inches and in less than 48 hours it was all melted. I'm thankful for a mild winter because I need the lovely sunshine we have been getting. It is so depressing to be stuck inside for nearly 5 months with no sunshine.

I'm continuing to make the hats and scarves for the homeless project for next winter, and I'm also making some items to start my Miranda Dawn Creations. Right now I'm working on a crocheted summer tote bag! It's going to be so cute and I can't wait to get it done and share photos of it. I have a few more items to make for promotional and then I can start to take orders and make some money to help pay for my medications and doctor bills that seem endless at times. I'm not expecting to get rich but at least it will help a little to help pay for what I need.

I will write again after my appointment next week with my family Doctor.

More Tests, and New Doctors

After my last Gastro appointment on Dec. 23rd 2011 and the gastro dr. telling me yet again for the 2nd time since Sept. 2011 "I don't know what is wrong with you" he tells me yet again "I don't know what is wrong with you, but I don't think all your diarrhea, stomach and intestinal pains are from Crohns disease, and you need to go back to your family doctor and have him refer you to a gynecologist and possibly other specialists because I don't know what to do for you."

This gastro dr. has only been my dr. for 4 months and this is what he is telling me! I'm ready to find a New gastro doctor and NOW!

So, on Jan. 19, 2012 I go to my family doctor for a follow up from the what the gastro doctor told me to do. My family doctor didn't have any kind of paper work or any of the test results from what the Gastro Doctor did right before Christmas! My Family Doctor really didn't even know what was going on until I told him everything. His reply was, "we need to find you a new specialist, do you have any in mind."

My family doctor also believes all my symptoms ARE because of Crohns because my Crohns is NOT in remission. My family doctor then asked me, "so what is the gastro doctor doing for you right now?" I had to tell him NOTHING other than keeping me on medication for Crohns which doesn't seem to be helping. He was upset to say the least.

My last CT Scan in December, showed I have an enlarged cyst on one of my ovaries, and this is what the Gastro doctor thinks is causing all my problems. However, my family doctor doesn't think so, but to be on the safe side, and to rule it out, my Family Doctor ordered a ultrasound of the cyst on January 31, 2012. He isn't referring me to a gynecologist right now because he thinks that would be jumping the gun before he would do any other tests to see if I even need to be referred to a gyno doctor.

Then my family doctor also ordered a blood test, to test me for ciliac disease because that sometimes goes hand in hand with Crohns and he wants to rule that out as well. And he ordered another stool culture because I'm showing signs of having Cdiff again....yuck!
I am desperately praying that I don't have either especially ciliac disease. I already have 2 diseases and I don't want to have to add a 3rd to my life, these 2 I already have is bad enough.

The good news I have to share is that after 20 days of being on the steroid predisone, I did NOT gain Any weight. However I did not lose any, praise God for that. I had never been so excited to get weighed at the doctors' office ever in my entire life.

Even after taking the predisone my days/weeks are still consisting of chronic pain (as my family doctor calls it) switching from diarrhea to constipation every other day, and still being very weak and some days bed ridden from pain and weakness. Yesterday however, was one of the best days I've had in over a month. I was able to do house cleaning through out the day by working about 10-15 minutes at a time, then sitting and resting for 20-30 minutes. Then getting back up and working 10-15 minutes again. It was a great feeling to be able to do that after so many weeks of Not, even if it did take me over 5 hours to do house work that use to take me 1-2 hours by myself. Jeremy did help me by sweeping, mopping the kitchen and doing the dishes because by the time I got everything else done I had no energy to finish the kitchen. I thank God for him and that I am blessed to have a husband who isn't afraid to do a little "woman's work". If he hadn't done that it just would not have gotten done, thank you Jeremy for helping me.

Now after getting the blood tests and stool culture done, we are playing the waiting game until we get the results and also playing the waiting game until I go and get my ultrasound on my cyst. Then another possible waiting game to get in to see the new gastro doctor once i get referred. I have to call my family doctor with the name of the gastro doctor I want to be referred to at the Ohio State University Gastro clinic and then he will get the ball rolling for me. I will be calling me Monday to tell him the name of the Gastro Doctor.

This past Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I went and spent those days with my Grandparents so that Jeremy could have a little break from taking care of me. But over those 2 nights I spent with them, my poor grandmother didn't get much sleep because I was so sick. The first night was the absolute worst. I didn't get to sleep until after 3a.m and was awake every 1-2 hours waking up in pain. Grandma kept getting up and checking on me every hour or so to make sure I was OK and also didn't go to bed until I did. the difference between Grandma taking care of me and Jeremy taking care of me, is that Grandma doesn't have to go to work or school, and can sleep as long as she wants. So she did get caught up on her rest and she said she enjoyed having me come over despite my health problems.

While I was Grandma and Poppy's I read the book "Heaven Is For Real" if you have never read this book it is a must. It is about a little boy's experience going to heaven. I read the book in less than 2 days it was so good.

So now I am back home for a few days before heading back to Grandma and Poppy's (weather permitting) to spend a couple days with them again. So that I won't be alone when Jeremy is in class in case something should happen with my health. This looks to me the norm for me at least for the winter quarter of college. I hate being away from my husband, but right now it is for the best until we can get my disease into remission and get me feeling better.

Starting 2012 off With Prayer

Even though I'm bedridden and in a 8 out of 10 level of pain even with taking what little pain meds I am allowed to take now. I wanted to try to write an update myself, no matter how long it may take me.

The Gastro Dr. put me on Predisone after my appointment Dec. 23rd. I took 4 pills a day for 5 days and now have down graded to 3 pills a day for 5 days and then day after tomorrow will down grade to 1 pill a day for 5 days and then 1/2 a pill a day for 5 days and then go off the predisone. However, my Crohn's is not getting any better since my dr. visit and I'm an continually bed ridden and in so much pain I'm near collapsing when trying to walk and go to the bathroom.

Jeremy has been my night in shining armor through all this. Even going as far as sleeping on the floor for 4 nights so I could have our big bed to myself. But after seeing him lying on the floor for 4 nights and seeing as I am not getting better. I called my dad and asked him if we could borrow his spare twin bed for Jeremy just until I can get better where Jeremy and I can sleep in the same bed again.

My dad brought the bed over yesterday, he and Jeremy set the bed up right next to my bed so we won't be so far apart from each other. I keep telling him this is only a temporary thing until I can start to get better and then we will send the bed back to Dad's. But only being married 4 years to each other it is very hard for him and I not to be able to share the same bed we have shared with each other since we got married.

In the midst of all this my Grandma (my dad's mom) created an event a prayer event on facebook for me here is the link to it so you can learn more http://www.facebook.com/events/156251371145256/

My Grandma called Jeremy and told Jeremy that she feels led by God to start this Prayer Event and have as many people as we can possibly get to pray for me that God will heal me from Crohn's Disease, Gastroparesis, and the Stage 2 Damage to my Esophagus. So tomorrow Jan. 3rd 2012 starting at midnight tonight people who have accepted the invitations to pray for me and my healing will be through the entire day tomorrow. People as far East as South Korea and as Far West as California have accepted the invitations to pray. People from all over the world have written saying they are praying and fasting for me.

But as I write this post I just got a horrible phone call from Grandma who made the prayer event. She and my dad took my Grandpa/Poppy to the hospital with Chest pains. They did a CT Scan and blood work and found his pancreas is severely inflamed and infected. He right now is being admitted to the hospital to start Antibiotics and to have more tests run to see what is causing the infection. There are signs it may be his gallbladder and he has gall stones but they don't know. And he is at too high of a risk for this to get bad quickly to let him go home. So now my Grandma is spending the night at the hospital and they don't know how long he will be admitted to the hospital until they can get more tests run.

This is just too much.....I'm bedridden with this disease and my Poppy is in the hospital and I can't see him. And in a week it will be the 3 year anniversary of the Death of my other Grandpa my Papaw! DEAR GOD I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!! My Family needs a miracle with this prayer event.

On a side note from this Jeremy has spent the entire day making phone calls to the Gastro Dr. on the update on my condition and how it is NOT improving at all. And made my follow up appointment with my Family Dr. as requested by the Gastro Dr. and we will be asking my family Dr. about whether or not he thinks we should try to get a home health Aid to come in and help take care of me until I can start to improve and get back to where I'm not bedridden and can do more for myself while Jeremy is away at School full time every week.

I must go now and make some phone calls to friends and family about my Poppy and get more people to pray for us. Because prayer is the only thing that will help my family and I.

Miranda's Christmas In Pictures 2011

Miranda At Gastro Dr. office December 23rd. She was in so much pain she nearly collapsed and we had to get her into a wheelchair while she filled out paper work.

Miranda in examining room at Gastro dr. office as you can see she was in A LOT of pain. Gastro Dr. took one look at her and started ordering a special CT Scan, blood work, urine tests, stool culture etc. and sent us across the street to Mount Carmel To have all of this done the same day.

Miranda drank 1 and a half bottles of this horrible barium drink for her CT Scan. I didn't think she was going to be able to hold it down because she was in so much pain and nausea's but some how she did and they got the CT Scan done.

After being at Mount Carmel West Hospital and Gastro Clinic from 9:20 a.m. till 3:00 p.m. we finally made it home. Her arms looked pretty horrible from all the blood they had to draw for the blood tests along with hooking up her IV for the CT Scan. But we made it through and will know something this coming week. The Doctor also did another med. change, put her on predisone and took her off the Entocort. The Dr. also officially diagnosed her with Gastroperesis. Along with the Crohn's Disease and the Stage 2 Damage to her esophagus

Miranda Christmas Eve day smiling through the pain. The Couch became her little haven for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as family and friends came to visit and exchange gifts
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Miranda Christmas Day. She was still in pain but not as much as the 23rd and the 24th
She is smiling because a friend donated nearly 15 pounds of yarn Christmas Eve, for her ministry project "The Smitten Mitten Expedition" Where she crochet's and knits hats and scarves for the homeless in our area. Miranda was trying out her new Knitting Looms for the first time and was so excited at how easy they were to use, and it helped her work through the pain that the Crohn's seems to constantly have her in.

Please Continue to pray for Miranda and the Doctor's that some how some way they can find a way to put the Crohn's into remission and that Next Christmas Miranda will be able for the first time in 4 years be able to spend it with her family and travel to see them.---Jeremy Caverley

In the Altar of Affliction: How God Uses Me While I am Sick in Pain-Top 10 List

1. I can crochet items for homeless people.

2. Write inspiring cards to people.

3. Pray

4. Write letters of encouragement.

5. Play piano.

5. Talk on the phone to people and encourage them.

7. Make cookies and food for people as I can't eat much of anything anymore.

8. Write poetry and short stories.

9. Write funny puppet skits and live action dramas to teach about Jesus.

10. Write songs for the Lord

TOP 10 Things That I Am Thankful For

1. That my house is clean and I have a husband who helps keep it that way when I'm not able to.

2. I was able to take a shower and clean myself up.

3. I am able to spend quality time with my husband as limited as we are in what we can do.

4. That I'm able to pray for people who are in need.

5. That I had a small bowel movement, and it helped ease my pain in my abdomen.

6. My grandma offered to do my laundry.

7. That Jeremy and I have enough money to make it on our own.

8. Jeremy and I have been together 5 years and the future holds many more.

9. My Jeremy cries and is a real man to love me that much.

10. I still have my Poppy because Papaw's gone.